Life - I want in

Canceled Lunch Date

2012-01-03T09:51:00.002-06:00

I had to cancel a lunch date today because I have done absolutely NOTHING to contribute to the house cleaning in the last two weeks (well...except to mess it up by THINKING I was going to reorganize and then getting called to a different reorganizing project in the middle of the first one and THEN getting called - and when I say "called", I mean...like...visions and inspirational thoughts and such - to another project).

Needless to say: I go back to work tomorrow and the house is in worse off shape than before I started break 2 weeks ago. Good thing I like to organize.

P.S. As I was doing the dishes, I noticed that the medicine cabinet above the sink could certainly use a re-organization, so that is what I spent the morning doing. Is it a sickness?

D.

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T17:05:00.002-06:00

Happy New Year to all. I feel happy. I feel excited. I feel energized. I think it's going to be a good year. I am working on a new venture this year that I am pretty nervous about. It has to do with selling some of my stuff - stuff I make and stuff I find. It has to do with video blogging. It has to do with trying to make my way on this journey of life. It has to do with making choices that I alone will be responsible for. I'm moving forward. If I had to pick a word for the year of 2012 right now, it would be that - "forward".

I'll keep you posted if you're interested in how this all progresses.

I made a video this morning about something that I wanted to sell, but as Katie Rose was filming and I got to the part about how much I wanted to charge, she snickered. That scared me a little. I'm going to edit the video and add some stuff to it and then we'll see what happens.

My prayer is that you, who are reading this - especially you, Dad, are filled with a peace that knows know bounds. That's one of the reasons we are here taking this trip, so that we can know peace.

My love to you all.
P.S. (Speaking of prayer - see paragraph above, if Gracey doesn't wake her butt up for Mass in exactly 3 minutes, the wrath of her father will be upon her. Pray for her.)

I Appreciate a Man With a Good Sense of Humor

2011-12-31T11:16:00.002-06:00

The other day, I posted on facebook, an invitation to my family members - Honey, Johnny, Gracey, Katie Rose and Mickey. I invited them to a party in our kitchen from 10am to 11am on Dec. 31, 2011. I promised them loud music, games and some snackin' foods.

Well...word got out that it was a ploy to get them all to clean the house for one hour - to bring in the New Year with a fresh, clean start. Needless to say, no one showed up this morning. I wasn't surprised, really. I sort of had a plan in the back of my head that whoever showed up, I would take out to lunch when we were done. So I guess I saved myself a few bucks.

As I was going on about my business this morning, I walked into to the laundry room and was greeted by a HUGE pile of laundry. I thought I was talking to myself, but apparently I said out loud, "Wow! That's a big pile of laundry."

From the man cave, I hear John reply, "Don't think of it as laundry. Think of it as party favors."

Touche.

Free Ride Day?

2011-12-30T11:20:00.000-06:00

Me and Skunk

2011-12-29T12:43:00.000-06:00

The Tattoo Post

2011-07-28T09:30:00.006-05:00

I LOVE my tattoo...I just want to get that out there. I am going to post some pics here of the experience.

First off, I found this piece of work I did several years ago and thought it would be fun to post it here.
I have been thinking of getting a tattoo for at least a year and maybe even longer. I didn't know what I wanted but I sort of knew that I wanted it on the back of my neck. I had been to my brother-in-law's tattoo parties in the past and never thought I'd even consider it. I can't remember now why I was opposed to them, but I guess I was...at least on my body.

There is a Dolan family history of tattoos...John and his brothers all have a shamrock on their buttocks, with Patrick's being the largest for some reason. (Side note: now that John is getting older and a bit...well...you know...bigger...we joke that his tattoo is now the largest of his brothers' tattoos.) Anyhow...as each of the children of these brothers turn 18, they, in turn, get their own shamrocks. In addition to his shamrock, my son, Johnny, also got a huge kairos cross on his upper right shoulder. I thought it was totally cool and realized that tattoos weren't as taboo as I had previously thought.

I love my "married-into-family". I really do, but I didn't want to copy them. I wanted my own Whalen identity to always be a part of my soul. I needed a remnant of my own self, aside from my husband and children. That's why it wasn't a shamrock on my butt that I wanted. I wanted something special.

My sisters and I get together for a "retreat" each year, as some of you already know, not just because you know me, but because I talk about this special time for weeks and weeks and weeks before and after one takes place. Every other year, we invite husbands and children and we call it "Cousin Camp" intead of "Sister's Retreat". The year 2011 was a "Sister Retreat" year. We met in Nashville, TN. I was the first to arrive this year and as my sister Jeanette lives nearby, she picked me up at the airport and we went to lunch.
This is my sister, Jeanette. Here, at this very table, the tattoo thing started to become a reality. I said, "Hey, let's get tattoos this trip."
"YEAH!", she said.
We immediately called up the other three, who were in various airports across the country...
"Hey, you guys want to get a tattoo this trip?" (Around our little lunch table, Jeanette and I made bets on who would want to and who wouldn't.) Much to our surprise, the idea was well-received.

As these retreats go by, our spontaneity tends to take us in directions we hadn't planned, so it was toward the end of our trip when the tattoo idea sort of fizzled a little. There were more important things to do...we are a "play it by ear" sort of group at times. On Friday afternoon, we headed to downtown Nashville to eat and try and grab some crumbled stone from the famous theater (can't really remember the name now, but it starts with an "R" - the Top Ramen Theater?) for Margie's husband, as well as some photos from some famous place for that same husband. We stopped to eat at a Jimmy Buffet restaurant (we almost had a repeat of the previous day's lunch, but I nipped THAT in the bud real quick.)

As we were walking back to the car - it was H-O-T and we thought we'd go back to Jeanette's for a swim - IT just appeared, IT being the coolest tattoo parlor in town. We looked at each other. Let's do it! Mom was really tired and if we had all been good daughters we would have taken her home so that she could rest, but that tattoo parlor was calling to us.
"I'll just take a nap in the car," says Mom. "I don't mind that it's 110 degrees outside and that the car that I'll be sleeping in is black and in the sun. You girls go on ahead and get your tattoos."

I had to ask, "Mom, are you sure you don't want to get one with us?"
"No...I'm too old and the tattoo would sag."

So we left mom in the car, making sure that the windows were open and entered the most awesome tattoo parlor ever. It's "hook", if you will was that it was a Christian tattoo parlor, run by good Christian people. It even had one of Jeanette's husband's gold records hanging on the wall...although the word "gold" here is deceiving. It looked more silvery to me.

We spent a goodly amount of time looking through the pictures of tattoos we could get. As I said before, it needed to be special. We looked at flowers, butterflies, crosses, all kinds of things, but there wasn't any one, special thing that we all agreed on.
"How about a word?" someone suggested.

Great idea! We had the tattoo parlor people look up the word "sisterhood" in Hebrew. There were about five symbols for the Hebrew version of "sisterhood". We wanted to keep it small and simple, so we kept looking. Someone looked up "sisterhood" in Kanji (an eastern Asian language). It had two symbols - one for "sister" and one for "tree." Together it meant "sisterhood".

After signing our lives away and making multiple copies of our Drivers Licenses and insurance cards and birth certificates, we were ready to begin. They assigned us to our tattoo artists, placed mock-ups of the actual tattoos on our bodies, let us take a look at them and then went to work.

Here is a photo of me getting mine on the back of my neck:
Here is the finished tattoo:
Here is a photo of all of us with our tattoo artists - a great bunch of guys:
I LOVE my tattoo. I LOVE my sisters and I LOVE our adventures together.

D.

Before the Tattoo Post

2011-07-22T07:48:00.003-05:00

I know you all want to hear about the tattoo. I am surely getting to that, but I need some photos from the actual event and I have requested those from the designated sister historian, Nancy. So until I can get those, I'll postpone the tattoo post.

It was hot in TN. These photos are from our thrift store day. When thrifting, you have to understand that you may not find yourself in the best areas of a given town. From about 1pm to 4pm, we were in different stages of hunger, with the need to eat in the forefront of all of our minds. I say 1pm to 4pm because that is how long it takes five women to decide where the best place to eat is. So we're driving for about 3 hours looking for a place to eat in Nashville...yes...a big city where you'd think you could find a satisfying "restaurant" on every street corner.

Sister #1: How about Cracker Barrel...
Sister #2: Let's save Cracker Barrel for another day...
Sister #3: How about Denny's...
Sisters #4 and #5: It's too late for breakfast...
Sister #2: I know there is a great place right around this corner...I think...
Sister #1: Let's just go to Taco Bell...
Sister #5: Taco Bell would be fine with me, I'm so hungry...
Sister #3: Naw, we can get Taco Bell any ole time...let's go for something unique...and so on and so on and so on for three hours.

Finally, one of us, let's call her Sister # Smart says:
"We have not eaten all day! I am starving! Pull over the damn car and let's eat!

It was quiet for about a minute as we all processed what to do with this outburst. Most of us get really uncomfortable with tension, so there were some attempts made at laughter at the outburst, some staring out the window at the run down gas stations, and some just explaining why we needed to find the "right" place to eat.

Sister #2: Hey, there's a Fat Mo's. Do you want to go there?
Sisters #1, #3, and #5: YES!!
Sister #5: I had a cab driver who knew the owner of Fat Mo's! (We LOVE serendipity)

So we pull into Fat Mo's, hop out of the car into the sweltering heat and welcome the air conditioned space called "Fat Mo's".

We are the ONLY people in the joint...well us and the Indian cashier.

Sister #5: Are you the owner?
Indian Guy: No.
Sister #4: Are you Fat Mo?
Indian Guy: Nope
Sister #5: Do you know a guy that drives a cab?
Indian Guy: (Just stares like he doesn't understand the question)

So we order. We order gyros, burgers and spicey curly fries. Two of us are very health conscious and try to clean off the table as we sit.

As our food is ready, we eat and think it would be fun to mark this moment with photos of each of us...so here we are.

Kelley

Nancy

Margie

Jeanette

And there you have the Fat Mo story.

More Sister Retreat 2011

2011-07-19T18:38:00.004-05:00

Let's talk about the horse races, shall we? On Saturday of our Sister Retreat, my step-father bought us tickets to the races. We all LOVE the races, so we were excited to go. It was on Friday, the day before race day, as we lounged in the pool to get away from the million degree heat, that we all realized the races were about a 2 1/2 hour drive away in Kentucky.
At that point, some of us gave each other looks...(okay, Kelley and I gave each other a look that said, "What? Two and a half hours each way? In the car?") Being the matriarch and all, I felt it was my duty to tread the waters of perhaps NOT going to the races the next day. Upon some tentative questioning, it turns out that someone went to a lot of trouble to get us the tickets and wanted very badly to do something very nice for us during our retreat.
So, after seeing the disappointed look on Mona's face, we were all gung ho again about the races.
Cut to the next morning...The first car/van was leaving at 7:30 am in order to beat the heat, as they did not have air conditioning in the van. The sisters were going to leave much later...we HAD air conditioning. The races were going to start at 1:00.
Here's the funny thing. Without even realizing it, my mom and step-dad came out to the car wearing EXACTLY the same thing...white pants and a lavender top. We sisters laughed about it, took pictures and thought it was cute. Once the van left, though, an idea hit two of us at the same time. What if we stopped at the Goodwill on our way to the races and each purchased an outfit of white bottoms and lavender tops. Hilarious! Great idea. We headed for Goodwill as soon as it opened. As Matriarch, I allotted 15 minutes to make our purchases.
Here is where sister Margarita (said with a Spanish accent) came out of the dressing room in a floor length lavender ball gown. It was a bit big for her, but she was sort of determined to wear it. She was going to wear a white sash or belt with it. Fortunately for us, it was $20 and she just didn't want to spend that kind of money. She found an appropriate outfit, like the rest of us.
Once we got to the races, our fun idea paid off as Mona (that's my mom) laughed hysterically as five lavender and white dressed sisters met her at the entrance. Sometimes other people stare at us in public...we just get used to it.

Anyhow, here is a photo of us with my mom and step-dad in our lavender glory.
Once we were making our way through the race park, all of the other people wearing purple that day wanted to have their picture taken with us. Below is a photo of two random men who wanted a purple photo. Their wives took the picture.

So that's the story of our day at the races. Kelley won her first bet EVER! I was so excited, telling her that I think she won like $100 or something, but it has been awhile since I've been to the races and my figures were a little bit off. When she took her ticket up to the Mutuels booth, they gave her her $30 in winnings. :) Sorry Kelley...although she DID get a free drink out of the deal.

More later.

Sisters Retreat 2011

2011-07-18T09:01:00.004-05:00

I guess a bit of background before we begin. I have several sisters of one kind or another...one of them share the same father and mother...one of them share the same mother...one of them is the daughter of my step-father and one is married to my brother, Bob. Together, we make up a fabulous team of wisdom, laughter, creativity and...well, if I were to be honest...a bit of psychosis.

The woman we all have in common is pictured above. She is Mona (her real name is Nancy, but her name got changed and it's a long story, so I'll save it for another post).

Each year, come summer time, we all take a retreat together. We alternate years with Sister's Retreat and Cousin Camp. One year we are sisters alone and the next year, we invite husbands and children.

This year, 2011, was Sister's Retreat year and we met in Nashville, TN from July 13th through the 17th. Now, we don't just "get together"...oh no...we DO IT UP in one way or another. This year, our theme/challenge/task was to only pack underwear for our trip. We wore our traveling clothes, but other than the clothes we had on our back, we brought nothing but underwear, a swimming suit, and our toiletries. On the first day of our retreat, we visited the Goodwill and other thrift stores in the native area. That is where we developed our wardrobe for our entire vacation.

This is a photo of Sister Margaret (we call her Margie, Margo, Gracie, Margarita - with a Spanish accent of course, etc) before the thrift store adventure. Margie lives in Northern, Northern, Northern California. She has two boys. Out of the 5 sisters, she is the 2nd youngest. Later on in my story of this particular retreat, Margie is the one who, when we all had a challenge to wear purple and white to the horse races, picked the most beautiful lavender, full length prom gown. We had to talk her out of it, only because it was $20 not because it was so over the top...well...okay, part of our reasoning was because it was so over the top.

I'm going to stop at this point, so that I can save some. I'll post again tomorrow and introduce you to some of the other characters in this story.

I Was Blind, But Now I See

2011-04-02T08:07:00.002-05:00

A fabulous group of women met at my home on Wednesday night for the purpose of digging a little deeper into the upcoming Gospel reading. We put a bit of a spin on it and I'd like to share with you what we did.

The story is about a man born blind. Jesus heals him. We talked a lot about spiritual blindness and spiritual sight.

As an exercise in helping us wrap our minds around all that this gospel story has to offer, we started the evening off in the craft studio. There we filled our paper plates with different colors of paint. We blindfolded ourselves and began to paint a flower on a 6x12 canvas.

Some of us were planners and marked our paper plates in some way so that just by touch, we could tell where our colors were. Some of us used tools - paintbrushes or our fingers. We listened to meditative music as we each created a beautiful flower.

When time was up, we took off our blindfolds to discover what we had created. It was an awesome experience to see what each woman had come up with.

We then made our way upstairs to the incensed, candle-lit "study" room to discuss our experience in conjunction with the gospel story. As our canvases dried, we shared our hearts with each other, grew from each other's experiences and learned how God was visibly working in each of our lives.

At the end of our discussion time, we went back down to the studio to put any finishing touches on our canvases, now that we could "see". We each had a strip of paper that said, "I was blind, but now I see" to finish off our creations. Pictured above is mine. I really wish I had taken photos of all of the women's art. Each one was unique and spoke volumes of who we are as God's creation.

Thanks to all of you who were there. It was a very special time. I can't wait until this Wednesday night.

Diane

Soul Restoration is good for the Soul.

2011-03-28T18:11:00.004-05:00

Sometimes my husband belongs on the moon...
and I now know how to send him there. :)

Day 1:
Husband: "Oh, honey, are you mad at me? You forgot to bring up my coffee this morning."

Day 2:
Husband: (Weird look on face of husband) "No coffee this morning?"

Day 3:
Husband: (Making hand gestures as though bringing an invisible cup of coffee up to his mouth) "Huh?"

Day 4:
Husband: I've had the worst few days lately at the studio and only two things are different. One - I'm getting critiques on my paintings again (He's a Fine Art Painter) and two - you haven't brought me my coffee for the last 4 mornings. It has to be one of those two things.

Day 5:
Husband: (Silence)

Day 6:
Husband: (I'm sitting in my comfy corner chair doing some journaling when my husband walks up to me and hands me my morning cup of coffee).
Me: Oh, thanks, hon.

I signed up for the Soul Restoration Workshop in early January 2011 because it was time for me to remember my soul. Throughout the six weeks, I realized some very life-altering lessons about myself. I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN SOUL HOUSE. I get to say who is invited in and who I will only meet down the street at the local coffee house. I threw the party and now I'm cleaning up the mess.

When Soul Restoration was over, my spic and span soul house, looked and smelled clean and fresh. It still had all of it's charm and character. It was just easier to identify that charm and that character. The cleaning supplies and tools I have learned to use effectively through this workshop have enabled me to bring coffee up to the moon where my husband stays sometimes and has also enabled me to accept a cup of coffee from him when I invite him in.

Soul Restoration I begins again in April. Go to www.bravegirlscamp.com

Diane

Rethinking this Picture Post each day.

2011-03-25T08:35:00.004-05:00

Happy March 25th morning. Wow! That's all I have to say about that. I'm not sure one person should be having as much fun as I do each day. Seriously...there is NOTHING like a full day ahead of no obligations...NOTHING.

Well, lookie dere. I had SO MUCH FUN redecorating the living room yesterday. It was as though I had my house back. The Realtor came over to take measurements of the rooms for the new brochure and we talked about staging a little. We have been down the staging road before and I wanted to try my own hand at it. I have 3 days of Spring Break left and so I'm taking those days to stage things myself and see what happens. If the realtor doesn't like what I've done, then we can move to plan B, but I swear I love what I did in the living room. And this photo is just one corner. The rest of the room is awesome as well - at least in my eyes.

D.

New stuff/Old journals

2011-03-24T10:32:00.002-05:00

I'm trying a new thing. Now don't get all excited. I'm pretty sure it won't last but two days, but here goes. This is a photo of me taken this morning. Remember when I said that I was taking a morning photo of me each morning for the year 2011? Well, I have been keeping up on the taking part, just not the downloading/showing part. So just in case you wanted to see me each and every morning...here I am.

John found a box of old journals that I have been browsing through. I came across something I wrote on June 20, 2007 - two things actually. Here they are: 1) Life Interrupted Equals Death and 2) Be still for a moment; Ask a question; Be still for the answer.

I think my California is coming out.

D.

Eye Exam

2011-03-22T08:38:00.002-05:00

It's spring break this week and so I'm taking the opportunity to get all sorts of medical stuff taken care of - annual checkup with general physician, eye exam, mammogram, dentist, stuff like that. I went to my eye exam at Lens Crafters yesterday and had a thorough eye exam. The recommendation as a result of that eye exam was that I should get some progressive lenses in three separate areas...reading, computing and distance. I selected a very inexpensive frame and a clearance sunglass frame, thinking about how often I'm wearing my sunglasses while driving and can't see stuff that I need to look closely at, like mapquest directions or phone numbers or grades on papers that my children insist on showing me as I'm driving. I asked the sales clerk to work up some total numbers on the two frames plus the exam (on which I got a 25% discount through my insurance) making sure to include the 50% off lens sale, which apparently can't be used with the general 30%-off-the-entire-package-deal, but after an hour of calculations turned out to be less of a discount than the 50% off deal...

Anyhow, the clerk came up with a grand total, with discount, of $638. What???? Perhaps only one of the frames - forget the sunglasses....$320-ish. In my discussion with the eye doctor, I asked him if I could just get away with magnifiers and he said that I could, but there was a slight difference in the amount of magnification I would need for each eye (2.75 for one eye and 3.00 for another - give or take). I asked him if by not using the progessive lenses, was I harming my eyes in any way? He said that I wouldn't be harming them. My eye issues are a part of aging and they will degenerate no matter what. Things would just be clearer (and when I say "clearer" I mean very slightly clearer) with the progressive lenses.

Okay, so I then did something I have never done based on the fact that I realized something that I had never comprehended before....Lens Crafters' job is to SELL glasses. Duh! That's how they make their money. I don't HAVE to buy their glasses. I needed the exam to check for eye health issues, but I didn't have to buy their glasses. So I said, "Thank you very much. I will need to think about this." and left the store with my prescription in hand, but no glasses!

I was so so so thrilled. I knew that there was one person that would be as thrilled as I was that I figured this SELL vs NEED thing out. His name was John...Big J, little o. h. n. I immediately called him after I got to my car to share this good news. He would be SO proud. I was giddy. I selected contacts on my phone...pressed J for John and selected connect. The phone rang a few times and finally was answered..."You have reached the cell phone of Jane." (read Big J, little a n e). "I am not available to answer your call right now....blah, blah, blah."

In my excitement over telling John my good news, I couldn't see well enough to get the right number. I dialed Jane instead of John.

I laughed very hard at myself.

D.

Blank Canvases

2011-03-20T08:47:00.003-05:00

How many of you, when faced with a blank canvas, get completely paralyzed? I do. That's what happened to my yesterday. I had an entire special day that was all about me. I could have done anything I wanted. I could have spent the entire day in my craft studio just creating to my heart's content...I could have redecorated a room...I could have gone to an antique/thrift store...I could have hopped on an airplane and soared off to the Figi Islands (well...okay, I couldn't really have done that...but I could have written about it). The point is, I'm not so good when it comes to blank canvases. It's like I need to pick the very best option because my window of opportunity seems so small. If I pick one thing that I love to do, then the opportunity to do the other thing that I love will be gone. Does this happen to you?

Today, I am faced with a similar dilemma. I am going to an all-day crafting workshop-y thing from 11:00 am to 5:00 pm. I need to pack my supplies to take with me, but I am absolutely paralyzed as to what I want to do once I get there. Do I want to work on photos? Do I want to work on canvases? Do I want to work on my journal? Do I want to just live dangerously and go there with nothing and start from scratch? I. Just. Don't. Know.

I know there is a life/spiritual lesson in here for me and darn it all, I WILL figure it out. What is it when facing a "blank canvas" that keeps me from moving forward? I crave a bit of direction - even something simple...like...a quote, a photo, a color, a goal...SOMETHING! In my attempt to be all free and elderly, I have no direction. I can't very well pack up my entire basement full of crafting supplies (read...life luggage) just in case I'm going to need it, can I? It would be impossible to move...too many restrictions. I need only bring the supplies (luggage) I will likely use on my journey. I need only bring the things that bring me joy and cause me to use my energy in the most productive way.

Walking into life situations and experiences only require the life luggage that bring joy and cause me to use my energy in the most productive way. I walk into a tense conversation...all I need are my open-mindedness and my positive thinking. I run into someone in need...all I need is my smile and my ears. I walk into a craft workshop...all I need are my paintbrushes and my patterned paper and my adhesive and my rub-ons and my paint and my substrate and my heat gun and my bubble wrap and my vintage magazines and my stamps and my ink in a variety of colors and my scissors and my....creative heart.

I can totally see myself spending the entire 6 hours just sitting at a table watching others create while I twiddle my thumbs thinking up the perfect project on which to work. Right about 4:00pm it'll come to me. I'll be inspired beyond belief and it'll be time to go home. At least I'll get some freebies out of the workshop.

Wish me luck.

D.

Uncategorized Moments in Time

2011-03-19T08:04:00.003-05:00

As many of you know, today is my birthday. Today I am going to share a story with you that may have you refusing to ever visit this blog again and I hesitate to share it because...well...you'll see...

The reason I have decided to share it is that it caused me to laugh so much that I thought it wouldn't be fair to keep this story inside. I needed to get it out to the world to hopefully cause others to laugh as well...

So...I'm getting to that age where sometimes I don't have as much control as I would like over some bodily functions. (Really...you may want to stop reading here.) I was directing some 8th grade students in a scene from our annual play. Katie Rose was with me because she is my sidekick...thank goodness for her. She was next to me manning the sound system.

I'm not sure what it was that I ate that afternoon, but when the gas was expelled (quietly, of course), the stench was almost unbearable. One hopes that it will only linger around ones own body and not venture too far, or one hopes that it will dissipate before reaching other humans. Katie Rose (being used to this odor as it is a familiar to her), quietly reached over to me and whispered in my ear, "Mom, did you fart?" I smiled and nodded and we shared a family chuckle.

I prayed it was the end, after all the other students were pretty far away on the stage from where I was standing. The scene began and Tommy entered stage left and started to laugh for no reason. I was fervently praying that it was because he had just gotten the giggles. He had to start over a couple of times, but finally the scene was underway and I heaved a bit of a sigh of relief (no pun intended). The princess in the scene suddenly broke character and said, as she waved her script back and forth, transforming it into a fan, "Tommy, did you fart?" The other girls immediately did their "ewww, gross" noises and backed away from Tommy. He was so cute in trying to defend himself.

Katie Rose and I started giggling as we looked into each others eyes, wondering what we should do. More Tommy-bashing on the stage and more laughter beginning to rise out of the bellies of all who were there. I could tell Katie Rose was at a complete loss. She couldn't stand by and watch Tommy take the blame for something he didn't do, yet she so fervently wanted to protect her mother from embarassment.

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't just stand by and watch Tommy be "eww-ed" and "gross-ed" on account of me anymore. I fessed up. "You guys! It was me!", I said. The shock on their faces caused us all to laugh even harder. One of the students (a delightful young woman) commented, "It's okay. It happens to everyone." She was trying to defend her elder to her classmates. It was, needless to say, an awkward moment. We all laughed until we cried.

I'm not sure what lesson we learned from this. I think it was just one of those moments in life that you just can't categorize...it's just out there, floating around in eternity.

We were able to eventually move on through the scene and I made darn sure that my legs were squeezed together so tightly that even if air wanted to escape, it would have a very difficult time.

Thank you for listening to my story and....Happy Birthday to me. Getting older is quite an experience.

D.

Bernadette

2011-03-12T06:30:00.003-06:00

Bernadette is the name that Katie Rose has chosen for her confirmation name. Gracey and Mickey were out for the night, so on this night before her confirmation, Katie Rose, John and I found ourselves home alone. We decided to watch The Song of Bernadette together as a sort of confirmation family "gathering" of sorts - okay, John and Katie Rose had already planned this time together, but I budged my way in.

It's a b&w movie. I remember John making me watch it early on in our relationship just because he thought it was so good. I really liked it at that time, but had a hard time hearing the words.

Last night, watching a remixed version, where the sound was hearable, the three of us sat in John's dark office and watched Jennifer Jones portray this young Bernadette.

My sweathshirt that I was wearing is so covered from snot and tears because I was crying so hard and John's was the same way. We were both just sniffing and crying and wiping our noses throughout the movie. We are both anxious to see Katie's reaction and look at her. She just shrugs. Nothin'...not even a little mist in her eyes. What? How can you watch that and not be balling? I mean....the Holy Card that she didn't get preparing for her first communion because she was "stupid". And then, the Dean giving her the same Holy Card when she goes off into the convent. And then, her sending the Holy Card back to the Dean of Lourdes when she is close to death as a message that she needs to see him before she dies. Mama Mia....it was so good.

And this dear, sweet child of mine has nothin'...nothin' coming out of her eyeballs.

Well...that's just...really...interesting.

The Approach

2011-03-11T05:50:00.002-06:00

Good Day to you, Marissa, Julie and the rest of you who have been getting a wee bit upset about my lack of blogging lately.

I'm approaching my fiftieth year here on earth. It's just a number, I know, but it's an even number...a big even number. I totally thrive on fresh starts, new beginnings, rearranging of furniture, new journals...that kind of stuff. As I approach my fiftieth year here on earth, I know that it is a year that will happen only once in my life. I know that it is a year that I want to remember. It is a year that I want to live fully no matter what it brings. It is a year in which I want to set goals for the rest of my life.

When I was younger, I had a whole list of things that I knew I would do "later". Now that it IS "later", I realize that there are things that I will not do in my lifetime. I also realize that some of the things that I WILL do on that list will not be done in the young physical body I was in when I thought up the list in the first place. These are exciting things to contemplate. It grounds me and lights a fire under my butt at the same time. It's time for action, but before the action, it's time to figure out what I REALLY dream about and spend my energy on accomplishing those kinds of things.

I still have a few days before I enter that fiftieth year on earth, but here are a few things that I've realized and want to explore more:
I LOVE road-tripping with my children.
Retreats with my sisters and at cousin camp are times that swell my heart with joy.
"Connecting" with my husband lightens any load I am carrying (and no, I don't mean what you think I mean...I mean those moments when you just "get" each other because you know each other so well)
Discovering truth through diligent studying or contemplation or observing brings an electric sort of jolt to the system that is unmatched. I like it.
Playing with art supplies while listening to MY favorite music is an incredible way to live life to the fullest.

This is just a beginning. I have more contemplation to do in the next 8 days. Stay tuned. Maybe it won't be so long before my next post.

A little fact: My brother, Johnny and I am the same age for 6 days each year. That 6-day period starts on Sunday. Happy birthday, little brother, wherever you are.

D.

My Little Corner of the World

2011-02-04T06:02:00.002-06:00

Here in this little corner is where I spent the majority of my mini-vacation (aka 2 snow days). It has everything I need...knitting, coffee, computer, chaplet of Divine Mercy DVD, journals, colorful pens and a glue stick. This is what heaven looks like to me. :)

God said, "Hello" this morning.

2011-02-02T09:28:00.003-06:00

As most of you know already, we are enjoying a snow day today because of a blizzard. I think this is my favorite winter day ever in my whole life.

Today is Katie Rose's 13th birthday. When I went to the window this morning to see how much snow we had, I gasped. It was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. The white, white, white everywhere. It was on the ground, it was in the air, it was just soaring whiteness everywhere. What I saw next, made me involuntarily gasp aloud. "Katie Rose," I quietly called. "Come here, quietly to the window. God has a birthday present for you." (I tell my kids each morning to look for ways that God is saying 'hello' to them each day, in a special and unique way just for them). Katie Rose quietly came to the window and I pointed out to her the reason I called her over. There, in the pure whiteness, was the fattest, reddest, male cardinal I had ever seen. The contrast of the red on the white background was inspiring. As I pointed to the bird on the branch of the Rose of Sharon bush (which, by the way, was purchased and planted in honor of her because of the "rose" in the name), I said, "There. There is God saying "Happy Birthday to you." She gasped aloud as well and said, "Thank you, God."

Then the cardinal flew away.

D.

P.S. I made the mistake of trying to explain this surreal beautiful thing that had happened to my loving husband, John. He rolled his eyes and said something about how cardinals were everywhere - no big deal, but that he didn't want to ruin my moment.

Here is the difference between seeing God in your life each day and taking God for granted in your life each day. God is there either way, but the joy is yours if you choose to see it.

My Speech for Tomorrow.

2011-01-29T19:21:00.004-06:00

Before I start to write this speech, I want you all to know that I've been taking a self portrait of myself each and every day in the month of January. I missed one day, but that's pretty okay for someone that doesn't keep up with stuff. I warn you....my husband's reaction when he saw the first 9 photos was...."Gee, hon...you're not very photogenic." As soon as the month is done, I'll post them...promise.

Okay, now onto my speech writing.

The purpose of this speech is to tell others about why I send my children to Catholic Schools, as a part of the celebration of Catholic Schools Week, which we are celebrating this upcoming week. The effect of the speech is to encourage others to see Catholic Schools as a good option for their children and grandchildren. I'm speaking this speech at another Catholic Church in our same town - one that shares our school sort of.

When I go out to a fancy restaurant, I get really nervous. I sweat, I babble, I forget which fork is which. I feel so uncomfortable that I wish I'd not even agreed to go. There is no way in heck that I could ever be my best self in such a place. It's too unfamiliar. It's not what I live each day.

Nah, that's not the approach exactly...

Good Morning. My name is Diane Dolan. Today parishes all over the nation are celebrating the kick-off to Catholic Schools Week. As a part of that kick-off, I would like to share a few words with you about Catholic Schools.

When I laid my eyes on my children for the first time, I was in awe and I felt more fear than I have ever felt before. What in the world was I thinking? I wanted to tell the Doctor to put them back. There was no way that I was capable of keeping these precious souls safe from the big, bad world. It's full of sin and hurt and violence and pain. You know what? I was right...there IS no way that I or my husband can keep them from this big, bad world that we live in. God gentled my fears each and every time they came up. Our home, our lives, our very existence is built on a firm foundation of Christ's love. He would help us. He would comfort us. He would always be there with us on this journey of parenting.

The first few years of their lives were not so difficult in terms of keeping them safe from the big, bad world. They were never long from our sight or our reach. When they were hungry, we fed them. When they fell down and scraped their knee, we cared for them. When they felt sad because their stuffed animals got lost or torn, we comforted them. For the majority of their early years, they were cocooned in God's arms, via us, their stewards...their parents.

But something happened that brought up all of the old fears of how to protect them. They grew older and it became time for them to start school. I realized that this wasn't something that I could fix. It was life. They would continue to grow older and with growing older, the time that they were physically with us would decrease. For chunks at a time each day, they would be in the care and nurture other people . Uh oh...this is where the big bad stuff in the world happens...out "there". How can I possibly protect my children from the big, bad world when they are required to spend about half of their waking hours out of our safe cocoon and in an unfamiliar place. Once again, God gentled my fears. He reminded me that my children belong to Him. He will protect them as they grow older and venture out into this big, bad world. "But they aren't ready yet!", I cried to Him. "We will get them ready to face this world and we will do it together and we will do it with baby steps." I didn't have to open my eyes too much wider to see what God was showing me. An obvious transition from safe cocoon to big, bad world was right in front of me. Our children would go to a school that was as familiar as possible to our cocoon. Our home was founded on Christ's love and so we would find a school that was founded on Christ's love. Our home was a place for our children to learn about how much God loves them and so we would find a school that taught them about how much God loves them. In addition, our home was a place of thanksgiving and so we would find a school that would embrace thanksgiving as a way of life.

The natural step was to enroll them in a school that was an extension of our life, whose teaching and nurturing would be a trustworthy substitute for us as they learned about the world in which they lived. We enrolled them in a Catholic School.

I have 4 children and all of them attend one Catholic School or another.

Johnny, my oldest is a sophomore at St. Louis University. He is currently studying abroad at the St. Louis Campus in Madrid, Spain. The other night he was mugged and robbed. After assuring me that he was okay, via the wonders of the internet, his comment was that he hoped the robbers enjoyed the lunch his 7 euros bought them.

My daughter, Grace is 16. She attends Regina Dominican High School in Wilmette. She would much rather go to Glenbrook North because "that's where all her friends go." I often tell her that when I, as her parent, am convinced that she, in these hormonal teen years, will choose to feed and nurture her faith on her own, then I'll think about it.

Mickey and Katie Rose are 11 and 12 respectively. They are in 6th and 7th grade at St. Norbert School. I happen to also work at the school as the front desk lady, and am especially blessed to be a part of their lives as a sort of "fly on the wall" as I watch them interact with their peers and teachers with respect, as they serve others in need, as they live with full assurance that they are special and loved by God.

My children continue to grow older and as it happens, the older they grow, the less time they spend in our cocoon. In addition, the older they grow, the more they are exposed to the big and the bad of the world...but I am noticing something about the people they are becoming. I have noticed, that even though the world isn't always a good place...they are equipped to deal with the big and the bad in this world because their foundational years were spent surrounded by Christ's love - both at home and at school.

This is what I celebrate this Catholic Schools Week. Please celebrate with me.

Please continue to pray for the children of Our Lady of the Brook and St. Norbert...pray that they will ALWAYS be aware of God's love for them. Thank you for your time and thank you for listening.

Kindergarten woes

2011-01-19T06:06:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, January 18th was my very best friend from Kindergarten's birthday. I lost track of her in about 2nd grade or so, but for some reason, I remember that Jan. 18th is her birthday and I say a silent Happy Birthday to her.

Her name is Gayle Bullock and we lived in Hayward, CA at the time. She was my first best friend because we walked to school together each morning. It was a glorious time! It was always warm - because it was California and not Illinois where it's freezing for most of the year. We were in the same Kindergarten class - Mrs. Baily's (we accidently called her Mrs. Belly once and almost peed our pants laughing so hard). That year I had a crush on David Sims. At recess the boys would go around trying to lift up the girls' skirts. Really? That strikes me as incredibly odd at this moment. What would kindergarten boys hope to gain by glimpsing a kindergarten girl's undergarments?

Anyhow....Happy Birthay, Gayle, wherever you are in this world. You always had WAY more Barbies than I did, which was why I loved playing at your house instead of mine. I think you were more rich, too. I had only one Barbie that I can remember. You had the house, the cars, the Kens, the Skippers - everything. I envied you. I guess that is when I first started seeing myself as "less than" because I didn't have as many material possessions as someone else.

Kindergarten? We can think of ourselves as "less than" in Kindergarten? Geez. I so needed that therapy!

D.

My New Year Resolution was to stop blogging so much...:)

2011-01-18T06:25:00.002-06:00

Okay, I've been absent here. For those of you who live and die by my blogs, I apologize profusely. The crazy thing is that I've been writing my thoughts down more than ever...just not here. I'm working on some stuff...some internal stuff and it's causing me to be "still."

We skyped with Johnny yesterday. He's in Madrid for a semester. It was wierd. No one could think of anything to say, really. I kept trying to think of questions to ask, but I just wanted to enjoy being "still" and see his face looking out at our faces and the other kids' faces just looking at him. What is it to miss a person? I don't "miss" him in that I miss his presence. Technology keeps us in constant communication whether it's via skype or facebook or my blog or his blog (www.oohyeahMadrid.tumblr.com) or email. What I feel is an ache that he is so far away geographically. I don't know that this defines "missing" someone. It's more of a fear that he's out of physical reach to me...and it's only been a week and a half, so the ache is not even that strong yet. I imagine with time the physical separation will grow the ache...and perhaps that is what "missing" is.

In other news...I'm having an awesome 2011 so far in that I am totally embracing me for who I am. I'm trying to love and accept love. I know...this just went too deep for many, so I'll work on that kind of stuff privately, but I would like to apologize to anyone I have hurt...ever...especially if I haven't even realized that I hurt you.

My great experiment is to let my hair grow out completely naturally - no more coloring. I am wanting to embrace the grey. I think it'll be okay...I think I'm not going to get lost if I don't have blonde hair...I think it will be an outward sign of an inward embracing of my life. My word of the year this year is "moment". I desire to live each one fully. For example...the other day, KR, Gracey and I were walking into Borders. The two of them were slightly ahead of me and all I could see was their backs entering the store. I was struck by the fact that I prayed for this as a little girl. I wanted daughters...I wanted to be a mom...I wanted to enjoy activities with my offspring. My heart stopped momentarily as I embraced how totally God answered this long ago prayer of a little girl who had no real knowledge of Him - only trust.

Okay...that's it for now. Have a great day.

D.

Almost Endless Possibilities

2011-01-02T07:33:00.003-06:00

It's good. It's a good New Year. The possibilities are...well...not endless...but at least they're there - those possibilities.

It IS possible to look forward to going back to work tomorrow. It IS possible to take a glance outside and see that God has delighted you with the gift of a cardinal playing in the leaves - just because.
It IS possible to ask your teenage daughter how to do something on your computer, like somehow get a Youtube song onto your ipod and not lose your dignity.
It IS possible to run through the parking lot of Target with your almost teenage daughter because she didn't think she needed her jacket even though it was like zero degrees outside.
It IS possible to wear the same pair of jeans for two weeks in a row without washing them...well alternating between those jeans and your PJs.
It IS possible to get up again and rejoice at the new day.
It IS possible to make banana pancakes when the bananas are getting too ripe, instead of throwing them away.
It IS possible to love life and live each moment fully and enjoy just being.

D.

The Most Negative Post I've Ever Written

2010-12-28T08:12:00.002-06:00

The New Year is approaching. This is a time of....what?....of renewal?...of looking back?...of saying to yourself, "Why the hell am I here and when is this going to be over?"

There's just too much...too much stuff...too much to do...too much to accomplish, with not enough time to appreciate any of it.

Perhaps I can learn to simplify. The panic to simplifying is the ever-gnawing question, "But what if you're SUPPOSED to do this (or that or even the other thing) for the betterment of all of God's creation (or at least some of them).

I'm struggling here...and I have no right to.
I think I'm having a mid-life crisis, but I can't afford a new convertible.
I want to just watch for awhile, like the fly on the wall.
I want time to stop so that I can figure things out.
I don't want to let anyone down.
I think I understand my mother more today than I ever have before.

I want to live life to the fullest, but I don't know how to live each MOMENT to the fullest and in order to do the former, it makes sense that you have to be able to do the latter.

I always thought I'd be able to grow older with enthusiasm, but now I think I was wrong. All I can muster is growing older with confusionism.

Pray for me during this New Year and I'll pray for you.

D.

The Storymatic

2010-12-20T08:13:00.003-06:00

Dare I allow myself to embrace a dream come true without waiting for the bomb to drop?

We all have different reasons or even the same reasons for wanting children. Truth be told, the reason I wanted children the most is so that I would have people to play games with -I mean good old-fashioned games where the family sits around and shares some good laughs.

In my children's younger years, it was really tough to find a game that we could all enjoy - and getting John to even THINK about playing Candyland was a task too large to think about. Then came all of the video craziness and computer games and little gadgets which multiplied faster than I could master them...alas, my dream of family games came to an end.

I set my heart to enjoying all of the other wonderful reasons to have children.

Last night my dream came back to life. I picked up this game called, The Storymatic. I was really only going to use it as a prompt to write each day. Katie Rose also loves to write and I invited her to share this game with me. The chair by the floor to ceiling window is where I keep the "storybook". Anyone can play the game at any time.

This is how you play: pick two gold cards - on these two cards are prompts to help you create your main character. You then pick two copper cards...these help develop your story line. Once you have your cards, set the timer for 15 minutes and just write away, using whatever comes into your mind.

Back to last night...after dinner, Katie Rose suggested that we all play the game, using the same cards. I was skeptical because I didn't think anyone else would want to play...but I was wrong. The entire family wanted to play. The paper and pens were distributed and the timer was ready. The cards we all had to work with were: Gold (tattletale, alien disguised as a human) and Copper (Talent Show, unclaimed baggage). Go! For 15 solid minutes we all wrote furiously. Snickers and giggles could be heard once in a while. "How much time is left?" was asked a couple of times.

When the 15 minutes were up, we each had to read our stories aloud. Although we all had used the same prompts, the stories were vastly different. We laughed and we laughed and we laughed. Mickey could barely get through reading his story, he was laughing so hard.

I was very impressed by the education my children have been getting, thus far. Gracey's story was very well-developed with all of the parts included...conflict, rising action, a logical ending. Johnny's story used examples and flowery language. Katie used a lot of detail in her story. Mickey used the word "poo" a lot in his story, but there were parts of it that made sense. I used the word "queried" in my story and John wrote about a guy with a really big forehead.

I hope we do this again. It was great fun and I was able to see my children in a new way, through their imagination.

D.

And Snow It Begins

2010-12-04T07:56:00.002-06:00

And Snow It Begins

The first thing I did when I saw the picture outside was smile...well...and giggle a little bit. (Don't tell anyone, because I am a snow-hater and it would ruin my reputation).

The first thing I though about was, "Who should I wake up first?" Something like the first snowfall of the season needs to be shared. Thinking again, I realized that this had the potential to be a very peaceful and beautiful morning all on my own. It dawned on me that Katie Rose and Mickey would want to put on their snow pants right away to go outside and play in it. (The snowpants are still buried in the closet with the rest of the winter stuff - much too much work for me first thing in the morning). John would just be upset because I woke him up early - after all, he's seen the first snow fall of the season a million times. Gracey....now Gracey would LOVE it with the additional benefit that she would take a look at it, appreciate it and go right back to bed, leaving me to bask in my peaceful morning.

I went into Gracey's dark room, told her I wanted her to see something, grabbed her hand, told her to close her eyes and led her upstairs to the main floor of the house, where floor-to-ceiling windows surround us. When we reached the family room, I instructed her to open her eyes.

She did not disappoint me. I think in her tired, sleepy, teenage way, she was delighted. She commented, "It's so nice," in her lilty, happy, little girl voice. We stood there, together, looking out at the snow for about one minute and fifteen seconds.

"Well...I'm going back to bed now," she stated.
"Okay...sweet dreams," I replied.

She went back downstairs to her room and I made my way to the kitchen to make coffee.

Life is good.

D.

Reverb10 Prompt #1

2010-12-03T16:26:00.004-06:00

I joined a group called Reverb10. I know I have to figure out how to put a button and stuff on my blog, but until I can get help from my daughter, I don't want to fall behind.

This is a group that follow prompts each day in December and use that prompt to creatively grow.

Dec. 1st prompt was to take your year (2010) and encapsulate it into one word and explain why you chose that word.

The word I chose is "unsettled" and I crafted this piece using stuff I had around the house. Now, I joined this group yesterday, the 2nd, and so I had to hurry and do the first prompt. It is a bit unfinished, but then again, so is my life, so it is very appropriate to describe my life in 2010.

Okay, well....that was fun. On to prompt #2 which asks us to create about what keeps us from "creating." I'm going to do a piece on the snooze button. But before that, I'm going to time myself making a rosary. :) I love my life.

D.

Price Check on Tampons in Aisle 3!

2010-12-03T06:36:00.002-06:00

While at work yesterday, I experienced on of the most embarrassing things ever. The more the situation escalated, the more I made it worse. Have you ever had one of those moments?

The front doorbell to school rang. As I looked at my monitor, I saw two men - one who was familiar (the Hot Lunch Delivery guy) and one who wasn't familiar, but didn't look scary or anything. I buzzed the door open and they walked in.

(There are times throughout my day at work when bells ring all over the place. Teachers, students, parents, and other people surround my desk, asking questions while the phone rings and the PA buzzes) All I can do is take one thing at a time in order. This was one of those moments.

The Hot Lunch Guy approached my desk first, so I took care of him. I signed his delivery sheet, exchanged some pleasantries and he was off.

I looked up to to the next guy and said, "Yes sir, what can I do for you?"
The guy said, "Well, I'm not a dude. I'm a woman, but that's okay. I hear that all the time."

MORTIFIED! That's what I felt. The world started spinning in circles. All I could do was lay my head on my desk and apologize over and over. I thought to myself, "I need to make this woman feel good. I need her to be happy with who she is. I need to let her know that I was the one in error, not her."

So I did what any other normal person would do. I jumped up, ran around the desk and took her into a great big bear hug that lasted for probably longer than was warranted. In that hug, I was trying to say how sorry I was and how insensitive I was and trying to let her see that it was just so crazy at my desk that I didn't pay attention.

I finally released her from my guilt hug. She asked the question that she came into the school to ask in the first place. "Where's the AA meeting?" (Well...for those of you who know my background, I was doubly honored to be hugging her, but embarrassed about my error and so maybe I was overcompensating a little bit. I told her that it was in the church basement and directed her on how to get there. At that frenzied moment, I realized that the meeting wasn't in the church basement; it was in the parish office basement. I had to be sure.

"Mary," I called to the adjoining office, "Where''s the AA meeting? In the church basement or the parish office basement?"
Mary can't hear over the noise, so she says, "What?!"
I'm getting louder now. "WHERE'S THE AA MEETING? IS IT IN THE CHURCH BASEMENT OR THE CHURCH OFFICE BASEMENT?"
Mary comes out of her office. "What?"
"Where's the AA meeting? The church basement or the parish office basement?
She answers, "It's in the church office basement. She calmly gives my new friend the directions on how to get there.

I give my new friend one last hug and tell her she's beautiful and off she goes.

Here is the ever important, always-to-remember lesson of that 5 minute exchange...Look people in the eye. Know who you are talking to. Don't rely on what you think you know. Take the time to treat each human being as a creation of God. Take the time...time...time.

D.

The Plant in the Office

2010-12-01T06:13:00.003-06:00

I'm not really the type of person that notices dead plants. They just aren't in my radar. That's why, when a coworker commented on the very sad looking plant in the corner of the front office at school, I simply acknowledged her noticings and went about my business.

An hour or so passed and another co-worker came by the desk and commented on the wilty-ness of the same plant. At that point I found it a little bit odd that I don't notice plants that are not doing their best. I, again, acknowledged my co-worker's noticings and again went about my business.

A third co-worker passed by and said, "That plant really needs to be watered. It looks very sad." I answered, "People keep coming by and saying that."

In that moment my scientific mind took over and I formulated a hypothesis and a theory...or at least a carefully-planned-out, secret, blind study that no one but me would know about. How many people would walk by that plant, comment on it, yet not do anything about it?

So far three different people had commented, yet not watered.

(Let's put aside, for the moment, the fact that I did nothing. I imagine people assume that because the plant is in my "jurisdiction", I have the care-giving responsibilities for it and they probably simply don't want to interfere in my jurisdiction. Aside from that potential reasoning, it's interesting to me that people do much "talking" but not so much "doing.")

I left work for the day. When I returned the next day, I found that the plant had miraculously been rejuvenated. The leaves were shiny and perky. Ugh! My experiment was over too soon. I barely got to do any data research and spread sheet calculations.

At lunch time, Vinnie walked in, went to the plant and said, "Ahhh. She looks much better than she did yesterday. Her leaves were all wilting and now they're perking up." Vinnie is a man who belongs to our parish and comes in each day to volunteer to serve the little kiddies hot lunch. He does it out of the kindness of his heart. He does not get paid, he is there each day - rain or shine, and he is one of those unsung heroes of our school that, like the plant, often goes unnoticed.

How fitting that he is the one who, more than likely, found a common ground with the plant and gave it the water it was thirsting for. How fitting that this man, this volunteer, took matters into his own hands and DID something about it, instead of just commenting on it.

Today, I challenge myself and you, to "do" something - don't plan it, don't get a committee together, don't talk to others about it, just "do" it because it needs to be done. Isn't that the kind of people we want to be?

D.

The Epiphany

2010-11-28T07:30:00.002-06:00

Thank you, Cathy Luft Goll, for your comment about Gracey being a strong independent woman, who at least had a rationale for not wanting to do what I wanted her to do. This is the basis of my epiphany.

As we go through life, we are encouraged to be independent citizens of whatever land in which we are a part. As independent citizens, we are encouraged to use our unique gifts and talents for the good of the entire community. This makes for a well-balanced life for not just ourselves, but for others.

As each of us learns to be independent, we go through phases of learning, whereby, we are called on to make a choice - me or them. Early on in our learning, we most often will choose "me". It's natural and it's also why we have those more wise to steward us until we can get to a point where all of our decisions are weighed against the "me" or "them" choice, with the "good of all" being the best option - no matter what it costs us individually.

Back to the Gracey situation from yesterday. Gracey wasn't at the "good for all" place in her learning yet...she is embedded in the "what do I have that is unique?" aspect of her learning. In this test of decision making yesterday, she passed with flying colors!

I, on the other hand, failed miserably at the test, because I took my stewardship role and made it a dictatorship, ordering the "subjects" to do my will merely because I said so.

I was not wrong, in wanting the family to be united in look for the church directory. I know, from experience that 10 years down the road, people will look to the pictoral directory as a way to reference things like, births, deaths, colleges, life moments, etc. I know that I use the directory to refresh my mind as to "whose mom that was", when I hear of a loss in the parish...or "when did that little Jimmy get old enough to be in college?" The purpose of the directory went beyond Gracey's understanding. She hadn't experienced the directory like I had; therefore, she had no reason to simply do what I wanted her to do without explanation. Or did she?

How often are we led to do things that we simply don't want to do, knowing in our heart of hearts that we have a darn good reason to not do them? How often do we take our own road, when those who love us and are stewarding us out of love, tell us to take a different avenue? It happens pretty often in my own life.

We MUST trust our steward! It's the only way. We don't know the big picture. We may think we do, but we really don't. We aren't that learned yet. Thank God that he is a wise steward and not one that rants and raves about obeying Him simply because "He's the mom" and "He's in charge."

If I had to do it over, I would have tried to explain a little more to Gracey why it was important for our family to have a united front. I don't think this would have changed her mind in the least, but at least she could have progressed in her learning in a more positive way. As it was, I "abandoned" her by saying, "I don't like you, anymore." That's not stewarding out of love.

Once again, God has taught me a valuable lesson through a suffering moment.....or it could have been that I just forgot to take my meds that day.

D.

Snap

2010-11-27T08:14:00.002-06:00

I had a snapping moment yesterday. Here's what happened:
Our family was scheduled to have our family portrait taken for the church directory. I ordered all in the family to wear any combination of black/white/jeans. I helped Mickey, I tried to help Katie Rose but she couldn't get over the fact that she had misplaced her black leggings and really couldn't get beyond that. Everyone else was on their own.
When it was just about time to leave, Gracey came downstairs in purple pants and a black sweater with aqua zigzags all over it.
Me: Nope
Her: Why not? It's black. I don't get why we all have to match anyway.
Me: Wear your black pants and come upstairs. We'll find something else in my closet.
Her: I'm wearing this sweater.
Me: No, you're not.
Her: Yes, I am.
Me: No, you are not.
Her: Yes. Yes, I am.

I have not ever seen this kind of defiance in her outright. It's always been more subtle. It was a very interesting turn in our relationship. At that point, the discussion was no longer about what she was going to wear. It was about who was the boss. It was time to remind her that I am the mom and she is merely the daughter.

I was going to do my darndest to be the kind mom who gently eased her into doing what I wanted her to do. I mustered up all of my mommy skills from when she was a little girl.
Me: Come on. Those black pants that I gave you are in the laundry room. I just folded them earlier today. (Heaven forbid that she do her own laundry - okay...disregard that last comment. That was just my mean side coming out adding to my anger)
Her: I think by us wearing matching things, we are giving the people who look at the church directory the wrong impression of who we really are as a family. We aren't matchy-matchy.
Me: It doesn't matter, at this point, what you think. I'm the mom and you will wear what I want you to wear. Moms are in charge of pictures - no one else. So come upstairs and we'll see what we can find.
Her: Okay, I'll put stuff on, but I'm NOT going to wear it. It's just a waste of time making me try your stuff on.

We go upstairs. I point out some things hanging in my closet.
Me: How about this?
Her: Nope.
Me: This?
Her: Nope
Me: What about this one? It's...
Her: Nope. I'm not wearing it.

At this point, John comes in, looks at his watch at declares that we have to go. We are going to be late. I pleadingly look into his eyes, put my hands up and gesture to him that Gracey isn't wearing what she's supposed to wear and is refusing my order.

John: Oh, just let her wear whatever she wants. We're going to be late.

Really? I mean, really? Does he not see in that split moment that all I was trying to accomplish has just flown out the window?

That's when it happened. That's when I snapped. I stormed out of the closet, got my coat, told everyone to get into the car and I was eerily silent for the drive to the church...until...until...SHE decided to say:
"I don't why this is such a big deal."

Snapping Speech by Diane Dolan
(Imagine I'm saying this in loud words) THIS is why it's a big deal. I am the mother. YOU are the daughter. Pictures are the MOM'S realm...NOT the daughter's. YOU are only sixteen. I am the boss of YOU. THAT'S why this is such a big deal. I don't like you anymore. I love you, but I don't like you.

I will continue with the epiphany I had while praying about this situation this morning, because it stayed with me for a long time and I talked about it for hours afterward, commiserating with my sisters-in-law, who shared similar experiences.

I'd continue now, but my husband is hovering, wanting me to get the house ready for a showing in 1 1/2 hours from now. But seriously....check back because the epiphany makes this entire thing worthwhile.

D.

The Sleeping In Joke

2010-11-23T06:14:00.003-06:00

I woke up this morning at 5:30am. I LOVE waking up that early, because it gives me a goodly enough time to reflect on my life before beginning the "real" day (the one in which reflection becomes fleeting, at best).

As I was headed downstairs to start coffee, I had a thought - an idea really - and decided to act on it. I went into Mickey's room and turned on the light. "Mickeyyyyyy. It's time to wake up." I ran my fingers through his mussed up hair. "Wake up, buddy-boy." I gently shook his shoulder and he began to move. I could just make out one of his eyeballs as he struggled to open his eyes. I shook him again. "Come on, Bud. It's the last day of school before vacation. Time to wake up."

(When I wake the children up, it is understood that I won't leave them alone until a) they show me their eyeballs or b) they give me a thumbs up)

He brought his hand out from under the covers and gave me the "thumbs up". That's when I let him in on my little joke. "Just kidding. You can sleep in for another hour."

In his sleepy voice, not really knowing what to say, he says, "You rascal".

I turned off his light and continued downstairs to make my coffee. That was fun.

D.

Fried Green Pickle?

2010-11-18T06:19:00.002-06:00

Last Monday, Nov. 8, 2010, I woke up from a night's sleep, groggy, making coffee, having a cigar. After checking my email, my facebook and generally following my morning routine, I went upstairs, showered, put makeup on and tried to figure out what I was going to wear.

I pride myself and dressing "different", but hopefully in a cool way - not so much of a crazy bag lady way. I chose, that morning, green tights, a vintage dress of turquoise, green and black. I finished the ensemble off with a green blazer and a scarf. I think I chose boots. After I'm dressed, I walk downstairs to give the children their two minute warning.

That's when I see that I have a new text message on my phone. I would like to share that text message with you.
"I haven't spoken to my beautiful mother in a long time, and me and Chass are talking about what a wonderful inspiration you are. I love you! Thanks for being you:)"

This text is from my son.

Well, my heart is full and giddy and I'm smiling and just in awe of how someone's words can make such a difference in one's outlook on the day.

That's when Gracie comes upstairs, takes a look at me and says, "You look like Snookie."
I ask who Snookie is. "She's on (I don't remember the show). For Halloween she dressed up as a fried green pickle. That's what you look like...a friend green pickle."

Wha?....oh yeah?....well let me read this text that your brother sent me. I read her the text from Johnny. She just looks at me like "what does that have to do with anything?"

Oh yeah?......well....(I think real hard about how to respond and this is what I come up with).

"I guess we know who my favorite child is, don't we?"

The End.

A First

2010-11-06T07:53:00.002-05:00

The other day, I was helping out Katie Rose with her baby sitting duties. She had rehearsal and I took her charges for her. The children are 8, 6 and 3. I was walking them home from school. The two younger children sat in the wagon as I pulled and the older child walked along side.

We stopped at the park, swung on the swings, enjoyed the fresh air, threw twigs into the creek over the bridge and generally had a fabulous time.

As we headed home, we had to cross a busy street, whereby a crossing guard waited to usher us. It was a busy street, near a railroad track, so we had to wait a very long time before our light turned green.

We took up conversation with the female crossing guard.

She began conspiratorially, whispering almost (as if she and I had a secret thing in common), "In a couple of months I'M going to be a grandmother, too."

(Too? TOO? - as in "as well as?" I wear glasses and all. I had a long coat on with high heels. I must have had a "fresh air" kind of smile on my face. But really? A grandmother?)

My reply? "Wow, that's great. Where do you get your hair colored?"

D.

The Social Studies Test

2010-11-04T20:34:00.002-05:00

On Wednesday night, Katie Rose whined that she had to take a Social Studies Test the next day and she needed help studying. First of all, I hate studying on the night before AND I hate it when Katie Rose waits until the night before to study because she is VERY crabby and nothing goes well.

I ask her, what can I do to help her study? She says that I can read her some questions. This would be fine except that I would have no idea if she was getting the answers right or not and in her "night-before-studying" crabbiness, I knew it wouldn't go well.

"Give me the book. What chapter are you on?"

"Mommmmmm...I HATE it when you have to read the book to study."

"Well, how else am I going to learn the information so that I can help you study?"

"Ugh!"

The chapter to be studied was on the French and Indian War, the Stamp Act, other acts, The Boston Tea party, General Pitt, General Wolfe, George Washington and stuff like that.

I began to read the chapter out loud, but assigned roles to the big names in the story. Gracey represented France, Johnny was Spain, Mickey was Britian and Katie Rose was the Native Americans. I got to be Washington, John was Benjamin Franklin and so on and so forth. Pretty soon Mickey was in on the action and we were all getting quite emotionally involved in the history.

After a couple of hours, it was time for bed. We had all had a good time and I learned some pretty interesting information. I was curious as to how I would fare on the test, if I had to take it.

Seeing as I work at the school, I went to the SS teacher during Katie's Social Studies period and asked if it would be okay for me to take the test with the students. She agreed and the students were sort of excited.

I finished the test - it was harder than I thought it would be. There were two essay questions and some extra credit stuff.

I turned in the test when I was finished and as the students prepared to go to their next class, many asked what I had answered for certain questions - comparing to see if we answered the same or different. I learned through one of these discussions that I had totally mixed up The Townshend Acts and The Intolerable Acts. Bummer!

I saw the SS teacher later in the day and eagerly asked, "How'd I do on the test?"
"Geesh. You're just like one of the kids. I haven't graded them yet."

I arrived at work this morning with the graded test on my desk. I got a 90%! Katie Rose was excited for me. Mickey was hoping I'd get an "F", but when I told him that I never hoped he got an "F" on a test, why would he want me to get an "F", he relented and was happy for my 90%. Now, 90%, in our school, is only a B. I knew I had mixed up some stuff, so I knew I wasn't going to get 100% and it was really interesting to look over the test and see where I had gone right and where I had gone wrong. (On one question, I put down two answers, because I couldn't remember what the answer was) A note in red writing from the teacher said, "Mrs. Dolan, you have to choose only one answer."

All to say, it was a fun experience. The other students were excited to find out what I had received on the test and I think it was good for them to hear that I thought that the test was harder than what I had imagined. I hope it encouraged them in that they saw how much fun test taking could be.

My only fear in this exercise was that Katie Rose would not do as well as I had done on the test....but it turned out that I didn't need to worry. She got a 103%.

D.

Elevator moment

2010-10-18T06:35:00.002-05:00

Most of you know, because I talk about it all of the time, that I had the privilege of meeting Amy Grant last Tuesday, thanks to the generosity of my friend, Tracey - she's the one next to Amy - not the one next to Amy that is me, but the other one next to Amy.

Kim, Tracey and I used to sing sometimes together at church. We hadn't seen each other for some time, so this was an extra special fellow-shipping in addition to meeting someone that had such an impact on my life when I was a teenager.

Before we arrived at the venue, we had to park the car - Kim drove. The closest spot to park in the parking garage was the 11th floor. After parking, we made our way to the elevator to descend to the main level.

It was when we walked into the elevator that I decided to make a silly comment. "Wow, is our hair all the same color?" Tracey replied, "I think mine and Kim's are similar, but your's is lighter." We all faced the elevator doors, in "elevator mode", as people do and we chatted some more about our hair, how we get it done, where we get it done, how often we get it done. After a few minutes, it finally dawned on us that the elevator car wasn't moving.

Tracey calmly reached over and pushed the down button. We were all so busy talking about our blonde hair, that no one had pushed the button for the elevator to go down.

It was a moment....a blonde moment.

D.

I want to, I really do

2010-10-17T07:55:00.002-05:00

I want to blog, I really do, but I want to blog blogworthy stuff and my mind is a whirlwind of stuff, but not so much blogworthy stuff.

So for now, I'll just share the story that my sister shared on facebook.

I had to pick Mickey up from an engagement. I was a little late.

Mickey: Mom! Do you know how long I have been waiting for you to pick me up? FIFTEEN MINUTES!

Me: Mickey! Do you know how long I waited for you to come out of my vagina? NINE MONTHS!

so there.

NOC

2010-09-20T06:16:00.002-05:00

When Mickey first started watching wrestling and wanted to talk about it non-stop, we (the family) laughed at him. "Don't you know wrestling is fake?" "It's all stupid." "Why are you spending money on those stupid wrestling figures?" "One day you should go and see a "real" wrestling event." Laugh, laugh, laugh....the entire family gave him a hard time about it.

He took it all in stride, but I remembered a story that John told me about his father. John was into magic at Mickey's age. He always bothered his family, showing them tricks, over and over and over. I can only imagine how boring this must have been for them. It came time for his 8th grade trip (a family tradition whereby each child gets to choose where they want to go upon completion of the 8th grade). John chose to go to a magic convention. His father took him to wherever it was and set him free at the convention. John loved it and had a blast, but to me the story was missing something. Burt had dropped him off at the convention, but didn't attend with him.

I began to feel a little sorry for Mickey - sticking to his guns amongst the teasing from those who are supposed to love him the most. He really wanted to attend this Night of Champions event. I decided to work with him and make it happen.

Many of you know the story of how I made bracelets as we watched wrestling and Mickey taught me the ins and outs of how wrestling worked. We sold those bracelets for $1 each in order to raise enough money to attend this event. (Wrestling is HUGE, by the way - tickets for good seats are very expensive). In addition to raising the money we needed, Mickey and I were able to bond like crazy. He taught me so much about himself through this process. I learned that he liked the underdog. He rooted for the good vs. the evil. He enjoyed the physicalness of the fighting, but cringed when things appeared to be too much.

All to say, I have enjoyed every moment of this special time I have had with him - time that will always be in his memory and mine.

By the time it was over, I was jumping up and down with my hands in the air, losing my voice from cheering so loudly.

If anyone ever wonders "why", just take a look at this photo. He had the best time of his life.

D.

P.S. Thank you to my good friend, Pam Callahan, who taught me to just "be there" when your kids are into weird, but non-dangerous things.

Friday September 17, 2010

2010-09-17T06:39:00.002-05:00

At 3:00am last night, I was fast asleep in my bed. I heard a voice calling to me. "Hi mom. It's me, your son."

My heart was instantly relieved to know that this precious boy was home. He's home from college for just a day in order to attend the funeral mass of a friend of his, whose short life was very full. Many of his contemporaries are also traveling home from college to celebrate this young girl's life.
My heart breaks for all of them who are here to say "Goodbye" to their friend. My heart rejoices for all of us who are parents of these children coming home; those who can now hold their own children in their own arms and be assured that they are here. My heart is paralyzed for the parents of this young girl, who now are waiting to see their precious daughter in heaven.

God bless you.

D.

Wednesday = Front Porch Cigar

2010-09-15T05:50:00.004-05:00

Wednesday = Mass morning

Mass morning = I will be singing in a crowd this morning

I will be singing in a crowd this morning = Maybe I shouldn't have had that cigar on the porch

Maybe I shouldn't have had that cigar on the porch = I better warm up my voice

I better warm up my voice = Karaoke to Olivia Newton John at 6:00am

Karaoke to Olivia Newton John at 6:00am = Have You Never Been Mellow

Have You Never Been Mellow = Reminder that I need to relax more

Reminder that I need to relax more = Maybe I should go have a cigar on the front porch

Maybe I should go have a cigar on the front porch = Wednesday

What day is it? Oh, it's Wednesday. I think I'll go out on the front porch and have a cigar

Life is good.

D.

Mickey's Big Break

2010-09-14T06:27:00.002-05:00

Mickey's famous acting/wrestling career is being jump-started today. He is auditioning for The Sound of Music. I can't tell if he's more excited for him or I'm more excited for him. I'm trying to think of ways to bribe the casting director. I've already signed up to provide dinners for the cast. I wonder if I should network and use all of my Regina contacts to ensure his victory in this. I wonder if I should coach him in the car on the way, or make him sing the Do Re Me song, just like I used to make my siblings sing it, with all the dual parts and all. "When you know the notes to sing....." along with "Do me me, me so so, re fa fa, la ti ti".

Ack, I am just so excited. I'll keep you posted.

D.

Brambles

2010-09-13T06:12:00.002-05:00

The relationships of people, one to another, are as brambles and I'm not even sure that I am using that word correctly. I'm envisioning that gathering of twigs and wood and debris that one is warned against before white water rafting, "whatever you do, swim away from any bramble." I'm envisioning a wall of twigs so intertwined that it can sustain any storm. I'm envisioning many parts working together for one whole - strength.

I know that there should be more to this, but it's all I got for the moment. Just remember that you - each and every one of you - are a blessing not just to those who know you, but also those who only know of you.

D

Recession

2010-08-26T06:25:00.002-05:00

Just a quickie today to let you all know that I am still here - just super busy at work. (I got a little cocky about how well I do my job and then sort of crumbled under the pressure during the actual game this week).

I was visiting with a new friend yesterday. We were sharing stories, getting to know each other a little better. She was telling me about the day she found out her mother had cancer. It was a moving story and my eyes actually filled a little - this doesn't happen very often; I'm pretty non-emotional that way.

I remember meeting this woman's mother over the summer, so I asked my new friend about it with a concerned look in my face and voice. "I met your mother over the summer, so I assume she is in recession." Without missing a beat, my new friend solemnly replied, "No, she's not in recession.....but she IS in remission."

I laughed so hard I cried.

I think I like my new friend very much.

D.

Firetruck

2010-08-18T07:28:00.002-05:00

This is going to be a sort of spiritual blog and I'm going to talk about God, just so you know.

Yesterday I had to venture into the downtown area of Chicago - sort of. It was the North Side of Chicago, really, but it may as well have been right downtown for my nervousness in the traffic. (I just need to interject here that I'm not a bad driver...it's that they have funky rules sometimes....it's important to pay more attention to the road signs)

Anyhow, I was driving in the North Side of Chicago and approached the corner where I was going to make a right hand turn. As I approached the corner, the light was green, so I slowed to make the turn and suddenly heard a siren.

I know what to do when I hear a siren....I pull over to the right and stop. Well, I was already stopped, so I just stayed stopped. I knew that the firetruck people needed to be able to get safely through traffic in order to help someone in need, which is why we have the siren rule.

The person in the car behind me did not appreciate me stopping and wailed on his horn.

I got super nervous and inched forward. But I heard the siren getting closer - not able to figure out exactly where it was coming from. I was angry at the car behind me for wailing on his horn. His horn blowing made me doubt, for a moment, my obeying the "siren" rule so strictly. Maybe the siren was coming from another street entirely and I was stopped there for no good reason. Maybe the person in the car knew more about the "street smarts" of sirens than I did. Maybe the person in the car behind me knew the "cool way" to deal with sirens and I was just being old and stagnant.

I stuck to my guns, doing what I was taught, and staying stopped at the corner until a huge firetruck crossed my path. Had I gone forward a little more, the firetruck would not have been able to make it through the traffic. I was redeemed, whether the person in the car behind me knew it or not. His horn blowing didn't matter any more. I probably even saved his life. (Okay, a bit dramatic, I know...but a girl can embellish).

That's my spiritual story of the day. Know what, know why and stick to it - no matter what.

Diane

Let's Start Fresh

2010-08-16T06:20:00.002-05:00

As I browse the world around me, I realize that it is time. It is time to begin again.

It is difficult to embrace the end of something that we have looked forward to for so long. It is sad to say good-bye to a period of time that will only now live on in memories and photos. It is heartbreaking to sit here at this keyboard and long for next year's summer vacation before the sun has fully risen on this first day back to work.

Accept it, Diane. Embrace it, Diane. Enjoy it, Diane.

Gracey And Johnny

2010-08-14T20:03:00.002-05:00

this is not gracey so even if you think it is, you are wrong.
yesterday my wonderful and gorgeous daughter gracey and my handsome son johnny were partners for the 2010 Michillinda Shuffleboard tournament.
Gracey was not very good. Her and Johnny played and it was Johnny- 50 Gracey- -12
But with Johnny's amazing skill of knocking the other player's puck into the 10 off and Gracey's sudden skill at getting 8's and some 10's, they won the tournament!
i am so so so SOOOOOO proud of them and i cannot wait to help them make their pink returning champion shirts next year that they design and i will have no say. they will be pink, they said.
remember
gracey did not write this.
:D

D

Michillinda Day 2

2010-08-09T09:58:00.002-05:00

Day 2 at Michillinda....Here I am at the beach.
Here's John having a laugh. He's not at the beach. He's having lunch.

Here's Angie. She's not at the beach either. She's looking at the Strawberry Soup on the menu.
Here are Gracey and Abby. We are so happy that Abby came up to play. They WERE at the beach, but now they're eating.

D

Michillinda Day 1

2010-08-07T10:01:00.002-05:00

Here I am getting ready to leave for Michillinda - our family vacation spot in August each year. As with all families, we all do things just a little bit differently from each other, which makes for a very chaotic departure. Some have been ready to leave since 6am. Some have only just awakened for our trip and it's 10:09am. (Said person still needs to pack) Some of us pack lightly - only the bare necessities, while others pack every art supply they ever owned, but I won't mention any names.

While waiting to leave, some of us do calm things, like post on our blog or read a book. Others watch wrestling really loudly or read out loud with a variety of inflections in her voice, ignoring the "5-times-given" directive to get her stuff off of the stairs and put it away. Some of us know where their headphones are and some of us allowed some other of us to borrow them and now they seem to be missing, leaving said first person without headphones for the trip. Thankfully another one of us can't find her iPod and so is letting first person use her headphones. I wonder if person that lost first person's headphones is also responsible for losing 3rd person's iPod. Just thinkin' out loud here.

The photo is me, sporting my Michillinda Lodge shirt in anticipation of Michillinda Day 1. I'll try to update each day with wise learnings from this very special place.

Diane

A New Interest

2010-08-01T07:14:00.002-05:00

See? I CAN cook. I just have to read the directions really carefully.

"Take egg and carefully tap it on side of bowl. It will crack and open. Be careful not to get parts of shell in bowl. "

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

D.

Take a look at these cutie pies. I learned how to make them at Summer Camp. Red Velvet Art's Summer Camp to be exact.

Mickey and I have a dream. Yes. We want to raise enough money to get tickets to see WWE's "Night of Champions" at the Rosemont Horizon on Sept. 19th.

When you have more than one kid, it's hard to keep everything even - in terms of using resources to develop the interests of each individual child - especially if the interest of one is really stupid in the eyes of the others.

Mickey likes WWE wrestling. He just does. We tell him that it's stupid and fake and dumb, but he likes it in spite of us and spends a great deal of time learning about the characters and their story lines. My good friend, Pam's son has graciously taken Mickey to a couple of LIVE events that Mickey has enjoyed immensely, but I, as a parent, cannot continue to take advantage of this sweet young man, Jack. I have decided to join Mickey in his hobby/interest. I am learning who these wrestlers are and what they are all about. I have realized that wrestling is a man's soap opera. I used to watch soaps all of the time, so I can get into some of the story lines.

Okay, so, back to those bracelets pictured above.....Mickey and I are trying to raise money for this even on Sept. 19th. (We told him that he had to raise the money if he wanted to go to this event otherwise we'll have to spend the same amount of money on cooking school for Katie Rose and a new lens for Gracey's Nikon - see how having children adds up?) We've come up with the idea of selling these bracelets for $1 each. I make them as I sit in front of the various wrestling shows on TV as Mickey teaches me and quizzes me on each wrestler. "Who's this guy? What is his mantra? Does he have fireworks as part of his entry? Who is is main rival?" and on and on and on.

The bracelets can be made with any combination of two colors - school colors, team colors, colors to match your outfit. They are cool for both genders.

I'll keep you posted as to what sorts of seats we are able to get.

Diane

Fabulous!

2010-07-22T10:39:00.002-05:00

Here is something I was contemplating as I lay in bed this morning....yes....I contemplate some weird things sometimes:
My hair is in deep need of a coloring. It costs me about $200 to cut and color my hair and while I'm there, get my eyebrows waxed - even more after tips. (Background info: until the house sells we are on a very very tight budget). So...I'm thinking...what else costs $200 that I could give up in order to have that money budgeted for my hair. Aha...I spent $200 on the five of us to go River Rafting while we were in Colorado a few weeks ago. So this is where I start my contemplation and my imaginary conversations....

"No, children. We cannot go River Rafting with the rest of your cousins because I need to get my hair done and getting my hair done will last longer than one day of river rafting."

"But Mom," they say...

"Stop calling me Butt Mom," I interrupt.

"Mom," they say, "getting your hair done will only benefit you, while river rafting will benefit all of us."

"Nay," I respond. "When my hair looks fabulous, I feel fabulous and when I feel fabulous, you all don't have to walk around on eggshells, afraid that I'll snap at you for any insignificant reason. You all benefit even more than I do when I get my hair done; therefore, the $200 is better spent on me getting my hair done than on you all having lifelong memories with your cousins rafting on the Colorado River."

Nuff said.

D.

(Okay, just so you all know, we really DID go rafting and I really haven't gotten my hair done, but this imaginary conversation taught me that I am who I am whether my hair is done or not. If I can just embrace that mentally, I'll be fine. Where did I get the idea that I could only feel fabulous if I looked fabulous? How about feeling fabulous because of who God made me to be? How about we teach that to our children?)

A Different Point of View

2010-07-18T11:17:00.000-05:00

Something about this photo just tickles me. We are all different, yet are drawn to the same awesome things. Not only that, but we are all at different places within that "draw-ing" ("drawn-ness", "drawnst") I was at the end of my hike when I took this photo - hot and tired as the smallest of inclines felt mountainous. I wasn't exactly bored of the beautiful view, but I was ready to be back at home camp. This group of young people, in full garb, were at an altogether different point in their adventure - still in awe of the beauty - even to the point of using binoculars to get the minutest of views. It's okay to be different and at different places in our lives - it allows us the opportunity to get a different point of view. May I always be observant.

D

Well Done

2010-07-17T08:38:00.003-05:00

I know....it's one of those "everyone-has-one" family photos. This photo represents, though, more than just family; it represents indescribable joy; it represents freedom; it represents perseverance.

Four sisters, one sister-in-law - we make it happen not only for our own interests, but for the interests of others (our children).

Bob, Jeanette, Ryan, Sam, Johnny, Kelley, Me, Gracey, Nancy, Margie, Waylen, Ben, Katie Rose, Murphy, Westie, Sophie, Parker, Jackie Mae, Mickey, Logan, Walker and Phoenix. along the colorado river. summer cousin camp 2010.

Vacation Eve

2010-07-02T21:40:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow at 0600 hours is the estimated time of departure. The car is loaded and ready to go. I doubt that I'll blog in the morning before we leave, but rest assured that I will upload photos of us on the road and keep you all updated with words of wisdom throughout the trip, providing the KOA campgrounds that we stay at have a three prong outlet and wifi, which I'm pretty sure they do.

So until tomorrow evening, I bid you all a fond farewell.

Diane

Vacation = Guilt Free Run Away

2010-07-01T07:38:00.003-05:00

Today is today and tomorrow is tomorrow, but the NEXT day is "We're-on-our-roadtrip" day. I feel like it's a "guilt-free-I'm-running-away" trip. Seriously. I am so tired of "here" both physically and emotionally and mentally. I'm ready for a huge, life-changing break. You'd be right in calling it the great escape. I admit it. I want to escape for a little while. I just hope I come back. I may enjoy living on the road so much, that I'll just keep on truckin'.

Okay, now that I've said that, if I disappear and go missing, the media is going to jump on this particular blog post to show that I disappeared of my own doing. "Blog Post proves North Shore Woman Responsible for her Own Disappearance".

Dear Media and Police,
I'm not running away. If I go missing, please try to find me. It means that something bad happened. I plan on coming back from my road trip on time and refreshed.

Diane M. Dolan

Pile of Poop

2010-06-28T07:06:00.002-05:00

John: Gracey, you might want to think about looking around for babysitting jobs.

Diane: (rudely interrupting) She is totally not qualified for babysitting other people's children.

Gracey: (looking up from her plate of dinner food) Wow! That's not real nice.

What just happened? What came into my soul to prompt me to make such a hurtful statement, at the dinner table, in front of everyone about my very own daughter whom I love?

Three things come to mind, two of which are probably not the case, but you never know.

a) I truly have given into the genetic potential of schizophrenia and have basically lost control of those social filters that keep me out of an asylum.

b) I subconsciously wanted to provide Gracey with the material she needed when she goes to therapy one day, which is her dream.

c) I was frustrated over the fact that we had another stinkin' Open House and were all needed on deck to prepare the house. When I got to Gracey's room, she was all asleep in bed, her desk was a mess with garbage and stuff and you couldn't even open her closet doors with all of the stuff she has jammed in there. Once "awake" she slips downstairs and lays down on the sofa as dusting and vacuuming and lugging stuff here and there are taking place all around her. I was so frustrated that I think I said something about "lazy piles of poop" (although I used the "s" word instead of "poop", which always scares the children because I never swear) in a conversation I had with John as he stood there sweating. He was holding the mop with his left hand and wiping his forhead with the back of his right hand. He glances over to the sofa where the lump of poop is laying, and says, "You might want to get up, Grace. I don't think I can protect you any longer."

And so it goes. The Open House went well, the day played itself out, everyone seems happy.....until dinner time when I make my hurtful remark.

After the dishes are done and all family members are once again occupied in their personal pursuits of entertainment, I walk over to the Wii, where Gracey is playing a Mario game of one kind or another. I gently brush her hair back with my hand - which is weird because she is exactly as tall as me, so it's more of a person to person intimate moment as opposed to a mother to daughter intimate moment - and say, "I am really sorry I hurt your feelings."
"It's okay, Mom." Her eyes are bright, I notice as they penetrate mine.

Diane

Look what I've been doing!

2010-06-25T11:39:00.004-05:00

Here is where I'm jotting down each thing we do this summer.

I think I'm going to give this to Ryan and Kelley for all their cousin camp planning.

Not sure what I'm going to do with this, but I just LOVE it!

Here are some of the things I've made from Elsie's Summer Camp these last few days. How fun it is to make stuff.

Happy Day!

Diane

For Julie

2010-06-24T07:21:00.002-05:00

Just about the time that I find I'm ready to give up, to give in to the world around me, I take one more opportunity to depend on God for strength to get through.

By the way - this isn't for Julie because she needs these words, this is called "For Julie" because she was actually missing my blog posts and that makes me feel very special.

Without trying to be too much of a downer, I'll share my thoughts on the last few days. I'm stuck. I'm in a prison, serving a sentence for an undetermined length of time. Every once in a while, I catch a glimmer of hope - the lawyer finds a potential judge who can tell us exactly how long I have to be in prison before being set free. But something inevitably happens to that particular judge and I am left judgeless once again. See, it's the judge that knows my future and has the power to grant me freedom or at least let me know how long of a sentence I need to serve. If I knew how long of a sentence I had to serve, I could make the most of it. I would decorate my cell; I would set goals for how many books I'd read; I'd learn a new skill; I'd know what to keep and what I no longer need. I'd PLAN. I would no longer be in prison. I'd be free. I would have knowledge. I am happy and can survive very well with knowledge. Even if the judge told me that I would be in prison for ten years, just having the knowledge of that would set my mind free.

Here is where I get stuck. Sometimes not knowing is what is best for me. By not knowing, I have to continually rely on God for everything. I have to rely on Him for perseverance. I have to rely on Him for my daily bread and water. I have to rely on Him for the strength to have kind, caring words for the warden. I have to rely on Him for the desire to live each day to the fullest - even without the knowledge, knowing that each day is a gift. (Okay, now I'm getting all sappy and stuff, so I'll stop)

Just suffice it all to say that I received a care package from "home" yesterday and it made the prison so much less prison-y.

Sometimes I think I have my very own language that only I can understand, so if you are reading this and have a big thought bubble outside of your head with a gigantic question mark inside, don't despair. It's not you; it's just me.

Diane

Cousin Camp

2010-06-15T06:04:00.002-05:00

Here is an email I received from my sister, Kelley, yesterday. I know that those of you who are reading this and are NOT in my family are gonna be super jealous and I'm sorry for that, but I am just so dang excited and I love my fun family and I can't wait until we get there.

At our first official meeting, the Camping Capers Committee designated Kelley Jilek as Camp Director, Ryan Jilek as Head Chef, and Sophie Jilek as Camp Activities Director. We were sorry no other member were able to make the meeting. The official quorum of three made all decisions and okayed them so we're good to go! :) As of right now, we've determined the following nights as:

Monday - All American Night - menu to include All American faire. Brats, hot dogs, potato salad, watermelon, chips...typical picnic food! Yes, red, white, and blue is a must for attire! (Katie Rose is all over this)

Tuesday - Tour of Italy - Each of us will be making our own pizzas on the grill. Where the same red and white, but add a little green!

Wednesday - Asian Night - One Night Only! We will serve some flied lice and have Shishkabob Shibang! Come hungry, leave happy. Old Asian saying. :) (I have nominated Gracey and her love of everything Korean to supply us with entertainment on this night)

Thursday - Cowboy Country - Y'all come on down for some good ole home cookin' at its best. Hamburgers, barbequed beans, corn on the cob, maybe even some Hobo Dinners. Gather round to whet your whistle and enjoy some finger lickin' good vittles. You can count on some good fixins that's for sure! (Margarita - I think you could pull us some country music out of your butt and bring along some extra cowboy hats for the city cousins)

Friday - Well, Friday Fiesta, of course! Ole! We'll be making and pressing our own corn tortillas to enjoy with all the traditional taco tastings. Maybe even some fajita ingredients to change things up a bit.

Camp Activities Director would like everyone to know that she encourages everyone to dress the part each night. Be assured that as Camp Activities Director, she will be playing the part . Any questions, email them to Camp Director and they'll be forwarded to the appropriate parties.

We would like a vote on breakfasts, but have several ideas for that, too. We need to know if everyone is game for cooking and eating together or what everyone had planned on doing. Chef Ryan doesn't mind at all being at the cooking helm. :)

We are still looking for a volunteer to be in charge of Camp Olympics. This person's official title will be Camp Olympics Director! (Nancy?)

And we need a Geocache Director. We'll need some easy and a few more challenging geocaches. We've got one GPS...do we have a second? (Johnny wants to be Geocache Director)

Camp Activities Director has some ideas for a scavenger hunt, but will need some help. Diane, can you bring your printer? We'll also need all available digital cameras (as in each group will bring their own). Does anyone have any other ideas for camping crafts? If not, watch out, we'll come up with some more. (Jeanette? you are a shoe-in for this)

Please let us know if you have any problems with anything the committee has come up with. We can always change plans. However, plans are underway and it will be much easier if we get gripes up front, rather than later in the game.

What time is everyone planning on arriving to camp the first night - July 5th? We'll be there bright and early (well, in our dreams)...We will try to make it there early enough to have food set up for people as they arrive. (Say 5:00-6:00?)

Looking forward to some fun and relaxation. Most activities will take place in the evening, centered around dinner hour so the days are free for the most part.

Only 3 more weeks! :)

Kelley

Camp Director

I would like to be director of a camp show at the end of the week. Is anyone opposed?

Diane

Delighted

2010-06-14T06:23:00.002-05:00

Check out the delight on this woman's face. I had my camera pointed at her, just waiting for what I new was coming. She was watching some little kids throw balls at the dunk tank on which sat Fr. Bob. Once he went in, the crowd went wild.

Sure, I would have enjoyed seeing Fr. Bob fall into the water - who wouldn't? But I have found that I enjoy seeing the reactions of others even more than I enjoy seeing the main event. This is part of "the journey is as important as the destination" motto I've embraced.

Pure delight. It is a joy to behold. It's more often seen on the very young, but once in a while, if you are looking for it, you can find it in one your own age. When you DO find it, savor it.

And that's my advice for today.

Diane

Geocaching Continued

2010-06-12T07:14:00.003-05:00

We all begin to look for the "treasure". We look under the bridge and I get a great shot of Mickey

We look around the bridge. We look in the crevices of the bridge. We look in the trees surrounding the bridge.
It's really hot outside and humid, but we keep looking, partly because it has been so long since we've ALL (everyone including John) spent some quality outside time together. We are getting weary, because no one really knows what we're looking for - we just know it's treasure. After half an hour or so, we decide that due to the new construction that has taken place on this particular bridge recently, the "treasure" must have been destroyed. We agree to move on, with two of the ALL deciding to go back home to the air conditioning.

Our little gizmo tells us that there is more "treasure" just 2500 feet or so east. We all head toward the treasure with the two quitters deciding to follow along with us until they can make the turn toward home. There they will say adios and wish the rest of us well.
Four of us are left, Me, Mickey, Katie Rose and Johnny (I guess you can guess who the quitters were). At 500 feet left to the treasure, according to our gizmo, we look in the direction of the treasure and see I-94 between us and the prize. What to do? What to do? We are certainly not going to cross the highway. We'll have to go around. Can you see, in the photo, that overpass waaaaay toward the back? We're gonna have to walk over that and then back to where we are, only this time we'll end up over the highway.

Mickey is out. He's done and says adios and wishes us well.

Did I mention that it was super humid and hot? We weren't expecting a long hike, so we didn't bring any water bottles. The three of us left talk badly about the "quitters" as we walk and walk and walk. The overpass looked much closer than it truly was. At one point, we really had to get water, so we walked into a storage facility on the frontage road. The minute we walked in, we were overwhelmed with cool air conditioning. Ahhhhhhhhhh! The man on duty offered us water from their water cooler. We were so happy and refreshed and ready to continue our journey.

We arrived at the overpass and crossed. What great perseverers we were. We knew that once we were over the overpass, the hardest part was over.
We walked some more, but the sights to see on THIS side of I-94 were much more beautiful. There is a whole forest preserve back there with water and stuff. It was still hot, but we were among fellow hikers and bikers and outdoorsmen. We felt so good about ourselves - so good that we didn't have to talk out loud about those "quitters" we left behind, we could just think pitiful thoughts about them and what they were missing.

To be continued.

Geocaching?

2010-06-08T06:10:00.005-05:00

I figure it's time for some pictures. Last week and a half ago, we went geocahing (treasure hunting with a gizmo that tells you where treasures are).
The entire family was in on the first one which took us to a bridge in Northfield.

Yes, even John. ("Daddy, pleeeease go with us").

Gracey, Johnny, Katie Rose and MickeyHere is Gracey figuring out which direction to go.

We head on this cute little path, which, by the way, takes us right by our realtor's house, but we refrain from bothering her about house stuff. This whole trip is a lesson in spending time together - not worrying about what is happening on the house selling front.

Well, we're at the bridge - now what?

Part 2 with more pics coming up.

I Woke Up and it was all a Dream...

2010-06-02T05:43:00.003-05:00

The buyers bailed on their offer. I am disappointed, but I've realized a few things:
1. Before I tell others news, make sure that the news is solid.
2. Our children learn how to deal with disappointments by watching us deal with disappointments.
3. I really LIKED the family time we spent together as we were contemplating this decision and have vowed to keep it up.
4. I'm sort of wimpy, but have learned to put my foot down through this experience.
5. I'm going to clean out my closet anyway.
6. Live for the day, not for the future.

There - that's what I learned.

Diane

Santa Fe Part 2

2010-05-31T06:24:00.002-05:00

As I was saying....

My children are a delight to me. In the past 2 years or so, the stress of our financial situation has caused both John and I to worry somewhat and that worry has manifested itself in withdrawal from spending good time together. Our time spent together as a family started to become somewhat filtered through the lens of financial worry. The children sensed it and were told on many occasions, "We can't afford that." or "That's not in the budget." or, in an effort to keep them from worrying about our financial situation, come up with a "legitimate" reason that they couldn't participate in one thing or another, usually making it about them. "They" didn't clean their room or "they" didn't do their homework, or "They" were mean to their sibling 3 weeks ago on Tuesday at 3:32pm.

(I just want to say right here that the above paragraph was very therapeutic to me and it wasn't until voicing this on paper....well....on blog... that I realize what I, as a parent, was yoking my children with.)

Another trick to avoid a situation that is uncontrolable, is to sleep. I have been doing alot of that lately, as well. It started when I quit smoking back in Oct. of 2008. It was easier to get over the cravings for a cigarette when I was asleep. The sleeping worked to help me escape the desire for nicotine, so I figured it would work for whenever I wanted to escape something. So now the poor, overworried children have a mom that takes a daily nap.

One last trick I used to avoid worry, is to be involved in ALOT of things. I did pretty much everything asked of me or I volunteered to take on things whenever I saw a need. (Here is where things get complicated). Because the "extras" that I participated in were serving God based, the line between service and escapism and feeling neededism began to blur. I am all about God using seemingly bad situations for His good and I don't regret one moment of service to Him, because when I gave it to Him, it was His to do with what He wanted and I am blessed to be able to see some of what He has done with my menial service. That being said, though, He sees my heart and knows what my true motivation is at any given moment even if it is a mixture of many motivations at once.

It is within this service area that I feel so blessed here in Illinois. I have developed relationships that are life-affirming here. I have hopefully made some of the children at school a little less nervous about things that seem SO important at their age. I have hopefully had a part in helping some develop their relationship with God. (I know this may sound all "good for me" and all, but it's really just a thankfulness for God allowing me to help Him in his work by using different gifts He gave to me in the first place)

I'm going to stop again now, but I sense that I'm beginning to get to the heart of why I want to move to Santa Fe....so stay tuned.

Diane

Why Santa Fe and isn't this rather sudden?

2010-05-30T10:24:00.002-05:00

Some of you may have heard that the Dolan family is planning on moving to Santa Fe, New Mexico in about 5 weeks or so. Although this is true, it's not 100 percent going to happen for sure. We do not have a signed contract on the sale of our home yet, so obviously if we don't get one, we won't be going to Santa Fe in 5 week's time.

If we do, however, get a signed contract in the next few days, the plan is to move to New Mexico before the summer is over. We will be starting a new life in a new place with new people. It's not that our life here, in this place, with these people is bad - as a matter of fact, our life here is fabulous and full.

"Why move then?" you may be asking. Each family member has a different answer as to why they want to move to Santa Fe. For the record, Mickey is the only one with a strong opposition to moving. He is very afraid that his friendships here will not be able to sustain the distance.

I can answer the question of why only for myself and I will attempt to do that here. It may take a few posts and I may contradict myself a few times, but it's sort of how I work things out. So welcome to my brain.

God has blessed me greatly in my life. Amen! In thanksgiving for His myriad of blessings, I've tried to always serve Him as much as I can. I have been given special gifts - as we all have - and through His power, have been able to use them for His glory. The opportunities to serve Him here in Illinois have been numerous and wonderful. My 25 or so years here have taken me from a scared, low-self-esteemed, self destructive twenty-something to a mature (I guess that one is up for grabs) life-loving, God-loving, forty-something who prides herself on being different and not so afraid to try new things, knowing that God is with me at each step. My children are a delight to me.

I have run out of time. I'll post again, soon.

Offer

2010-05-29T06:56:00.002-05:00

Just a short update....we got an offer!!!

They would like to close on July 9th.

This means that we have very little time to figure out what we are going to do - Northbrook or New Mexico and I am PANICKING. I can't sleep. I don't know what the right thing to do is. We've waited so long for this - so long that it became unreal that we were selling and contemplating moving out of the state. It became just a "talk about" dream. But today, the possibility is so real that I can't connect with it.

Help me.

Diane

A First Second

2010-05-26T06:18:00.000-05:00

I got a call at work yesterday from our realtor, Marsha. "How's your house look?" Someone wanted to see it in an hour. I got me some coverage for the front desk for a bit, drove home, made beds, hid laundry, turned on all the lights. The whole time I'm doing this, I'm saying to myself,, "Don't get your hopes up; don't get your hopes up; don't get your hopes up."

By the time I got back to work, my hopes were up.

After work, I went for my evening run (okay, I don't really run, but it sounded good). After work, I went for my 1/2 hour walk. As I was returning home, I noticed a white Chevy with Missouri plates slowly driving by our house, pulling up to the front and stopping. Inside was a woman gesturing toward our house to a man. I knew right away that these were the people who saw the house earlier. I said to myself, "I know that your hopes are up a little, but don't let them get any higher. I know that this is a good sign that they came back to your house because you would do the exact same thing to a house you were interested in, but don't get your hopes up any higher." To God I said, "Oh, Lord. THY will be done, not mine."

I made dinner, took a shower and was getting ready for bed (I go to bed at 9:00) when John ran upstairs and said, "They want to see the house again in 25 minutes." Oh no! I was caught off guard; my hopes rose. I mean, we've never, ever had a second showing and this was occurring in the same day! I made myself become like a zombie who didn't really care in order to "show" the outside world that my hopes were not raised. John, the children and I piled into the car and drove to Grandma's. There we watched a very silly show on River Monsters and listened to Johnny spout out about how exciting this could be - the adventure that could be starting. I remained calm and zombie-like as they all talked about New Mexico. I allowed myself a little bit of excitement as I realized that New Mexico may actually be a possibility and I got scared.

We finally got the "all clear" call from the realtor at about 10:30ish. I had asked her to get as much scoop as she could and report back to me right away. This is what she got: Transfer, their house is for sale and she wasn't sure if the purchase of a house here is contingent on a sale there, they both liked the house and the space, he is transferring here immediately and she (and the family) are coming at the end of the summer, staying at a hotel nearby.

That's where I am this morning. I admit that my hopes are up and if it doesn't work out?....well....we'll try again next time. I'll keep you posted.

Diane

This is what I'm talkin' about

2010-05-24T05:45:00.000-05:00

Much to my delight and my husband's dismay, the weather has finally turned. Right now I am sitting outside on the deck with my coffee and applesauce and I am not chilled in the least. How glorious!

2010-05-22T08:28:00.002-05:00

When faced with the day, I sometimes get confused. I have no "time appointments" today, so I can juggle the day however I want. There are a few things that need to be done before tomorrow and I can list those, but when faced with a list, I get paralyzed as to what to do first. The thing is my list consists of things I have to do for the good of the family (clean house, laundry, clean out microwave) and there are things that I have to do for my own good (craft, craft some more, create stuff). In addition to those things I have some framing jobs that I have to do for the good of others as well as go over music for tomorrow's cantoring.

It's like a puzzle....what to do first, how to not get overwhelmed concentrating on one thing. Do I do a little of each and then repeat? Do I set my timer for 15 minutes and move between work and play (15 of work 15 of play)? Do I get all of the work done first and then spend the rest of the day playing? Do I play first and get it out of my system and then do the work in the afternoon? The problem with doing the work first is that it really never ends. There is always more cleaning, organizing, planning. It never ever ends so if I start there, I may get stuck doing that forever. I don't want that. If I craft and play first, I may delay the work and thereby causing John to have to do it all, which is not fair and will justifiably make him a little peeved.

As you can see, the options are unlimited. And it confuses me. And it paralyzes me. So I nap.

Diane

Really scary dream last night

2010-05-19T06:04:00.003-05:00

It was about a ghost. Do you ever have those dreams where things physically feel so real that you get really scared?

We were looking at a house, the whole family and I. We were in this house and all of a sudden the door started opening and closing by itself. That wasn't so bad, but it was a little weird. Pretty soon all sorts of things started moving around. I began to feel all tingly and paralyzed and anxious and scared. Everything looked like it was in a yellowish haze. I looked at my companions and it was obvious by the looks on their faces that they were feeling the same thing. Remembering every ghost movie I had ever seen, I started saying, out loud, "It's okay. Try to follow the light. We'll take care of everything. Don't worry. You can go now."

The ghost left and the yellowish aura vanished and I felt normal again. Relief.

I was thinking to myself, "There is no way that I could live in this house." John, on the other hand, was weighing the price of the house against the fact that it had a ghost. The house was such a good financial deal for us,that living with a ghost was not entirely out of the question for him.

Okay, now here I have to be brief because there is nothing more boring than reading about someone else's dream, but I felt that the next part was a significant part to the dream.

We were sitting in a restaurant discussing the house, when I started to feel all tingly and paralyzed again with the yellowish haze around. Someone at the table said, "I got her. There she is." I looked to where my companion was pointing and sure enough, the shadow of a figure was right there on the wall. She was BEAUTIFUL, with her face partially covered. I said aloud what I had known in my heart. "She is someone's mother and she misses her parents and wants to find them." The next thing I knew the shadow of a little old couple appeared. They were holding hands with each other. They led the beautiful woman out of the restaurant and we all felt normal, with no more yellow haze. The ghost, I was confident, followed her parents to where she would be happy.

I know, weird.

Diane

The Tap, Tap, Tap of a Typewriter

2010-05-16T18:59:00.002-05:00

Many of you may not know this about me, but I hold certification for typing 110 wpm. Yup - 110 words per minute. I received my certification while at secretarial school. Yup - secretarial school. In fact, I did so well at the secretarial school that they hired me to be the secretary of their secretarial school. Yup - secretary of a secretarial school. I even hold certification for being able to take shorthand at 100 wpm. Yup - shorthand. (But I digress; I want to talk about typing)

However silly it may sound, I was very proud of my typing skill, and still am although with technology and computers and stuff, I'm pretty sure that 110 wpm is not that big of a deal anymore.

I learned to type on an electric typewriter, which was really cool because you barely had to touch the keys and the letters would engage - nothing like now, but you know what I mean. Before electric typewriters there existed these super heavy contraptions that you carried around in a case. The keys needed to be pressed quickly and with firm, staccato pressure in order to achieve clear images on the paper.

My two daughters are readers and as readers they have dreams of being writers and everyone knows that you can't write a real book unless you write it on a real typewriter. Typewriters are just way too inspiring. So, guess what we found at the church rummage sale? Yup - not one old typewriter, but two old typewriters. One is an Underwood and one is a Remington. Katie got the Underwood, because it was more old fashioned and Gracey got the Remington because it was more vintage.

The moment we got home from the rummage sale, they both opened their cases to try out their new, old contraptions. I, being tired from working the rummage sale lay down to take a nap. The Underwood (Katie's) came with two extra spools of ink and some really old typing paper. The Remington (Gracey's) didn't. Gracey grabbed some of the old typing paper from Katie's Underwood to type on. Katie didn't appreciate that. They started yelling back and forth. Grace wouldn't give the paper back and Katie wouldn't give the paper up. This went on and on until I threatened to take both typewriters back to the rummage sale. How can a person take a nap with all this arguing back and forth? Katie stormed upstairs after I said something about it only being a stupid piece of paper.

Finally, it was quiet. Katie was upstairs sulking and Gracey was sitting at the table with her Remington and Katie's Underwood paper. I closed my eyes again. Tap....tap..tap..tap......Tap..tap...tap Tap....tap..tap..tap......Tap..tap...tap Tap....tap..tap..tap......Tap..tap...tap...Tap....tap..tap..tap......Tap..tap...tap Tap....tap..tap..tap......Tap..tap...tap

Katie Rose, from upstairs, couldn't stand hearing the tapping. It was too much to keep her stance of injustice amidst the imagined fun Gracey was having with her Remington. It lured her back downstairs to her own typewriter. The next thing I knew it was taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap...etc. Both girls were happily typing away on their respective typewriters.

You may think that this was annoying as I tried to sleep, but it had the opposite effect. It was like a lullaby, lulling me to sleep - nothing but tapping and no arguing.

Amen

Crabby as crabby can be.

2010-05-14T10:21:00.000-05:00

No....I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about my offspring, Katie Rose. I thought I had PMS bad, but she hasn't even started menstruating yet and her PMS is way worse than mine. If you are a praying person, please take a moment now to pray for Katie's future husband, that he will be able to be patient through these trying days of the month.

Amen

Steak n Shake

2010-05-12T06:13:00.000-05:00

Mickey and I went to Steak n Shake yesterday. It was a little cold outside and we were in a bit of a time crunch as I had to go back to work, so we decided to go through the drive-thru.

We drove through the lane and stopped where the big menu was. I rolled down my window and waited for my order to be taken....and I waited.....and I waited. I looked around for the speaker and couldn't quite figure out where it was. "Hello?" "Helloooo!"

Thankfully it wasn't all that long before I realized that I needed to pull up a few yards to where the actual order taking place speaker was.
"Oh, there it is. I guess I have to pull up to order."

As I pulled up to the proper ordering space, Mickey began to giggle and I couldn't help myself either. We both had a good laugh.

What I Learned on Mother's Day

2010-05-10T05:38:00.006-05:00

What I learned this Mother's Day 2010 warmed my heart, so I'm going to share it with you.

A few days ago, I picked up Grace from school. She asked if we could take a friend of hers home and I said, "Sure."

(I just want to interject right here, that I wish I would have paid more attention when we were learning about quotation marks and writing dialogue in school because I seem to need it a lot in my posts.)

As Grace and her friend climbed into the van with all of their school stuff - back packs that weigh a ton and extra clothing and stuff - I noticed that Mary Clare (Grace's friend) was holding a painted pot with a flower. The pot was very colorful and said I love you.

"Ahhh, is that for your mom for Mother's Day?" Mary Clare nodded.

"Where's the one for your mom?" I ask Gracey.

"Oh, I didn't have enough money to make one," she replies.

We drop Mary Clare off at her house and as we are driving home to our house, one of the kids says, "Oh no! Mary Clare forgot her flower for her mom."

"We can go back and take it to her," I say. It's not very far away from where we are.

Gracey pipes up, "No, it's okay. I'm soooo hungry. I just want to go home. I'll give it to her tomorrow at school."

I'm thinking, "Okay, whatever."

Fast forward to the day before Mother's Day. I had the opportunity to stop at Starbucks and pick up a tin of my favorite tea. When I get home, I run into Gracey and give her the tin. "Hey, Grace. Here. You can give this to me tomorrow for Mother's Day."

"Whee," she replies.

I woke up early on Mother's Day, yesterday. When I went into my bathroom to brush my teeth, this is what I saw.

The note reads: Dear Momma, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! See? I made you think Mary Clare made that pot for her mom but really it was me! I am so clever. I hope you have a splendid day! Oh and your tea is there too. Hee Hee. I love you! Gracey

Here is what I learned from this experience....I learned to never give up hope - that what you think is one way is really not the way it always was. You know what I mean? Don't ever have a final judgment of someone. We grow and change according to our experiences in life; in how we act and react to the situations in which we find ourselves. We are never unchanging or unchangeable. That's what growing is all about. I don't mean to say that my daughter was mean or nasty or uncaring or any of those things. I knew that she loved me with all of her heart, but I also knew that I shouldn't necessarily expect her to outwardly show it. I get this, totally, and I love her for it. It's who she is....but what I learned is that it's not always who she will be. It took planning to set this all up. It was premeditated. Now that's outward caring! I could learn much from her.

I know - that's a lot to learn from a pot of flowers and a tin of tea.

Diane

P.S. I also received this from Mickey:and from Katie Rose I received the most wonderful helper in all the land, not just on Mother's Day, but on every day of the year.

From Johnny I received my very first "away from home" phone call on Mother's Day. That was weird.

The Shipping Debacle continued...

2010-05-07T06:41:00.000-05:00

Where was I? Oh yes. The nice lady in the post office line suggested that I go to UPS. We have a really great UPS guy that delivers to our school. His name is Brian. I'm not sure why I didn't think of UPS first. I guess I just thought that the United States Post Office would be cheaper, seeing as it is government, as opposed to a publicly owned company, which is all for profit.

The people at UPS are SO very nice. They tell me that my package will cost $28.00 to ship. Although this is much better than the $68.20, it's sill way, way more than what I had expected. The really nice UPS lady asks me a few questions about the item inside. As I answer, she realizes that I don't need this big of a box. If I can fit my item into a smaller box - more fitted to the item inside, she can ship it for $14.25! Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about. I ask her if she sells any boxes in the size that I need. "No," she says to me, "but right next door is a storage/moving business that sells boxes." I am on it. I drive the 50 feet to the next building where I am able to purchase the box I need for $5.00. Okay, still need to order the Uline boxes, but it's much better than the $16.50 I've already paid for the first box.

UPS is open until 7:00pm and I want to ship today for the sake of my good reputation, so I have a couple of hours to transfer the Inspiration Board to the new box, print a new label, and drive back to UPS. Things are beginning to look up. I have persevered and am learning as I go. Yippee! for me.

Once home, I begin the transfer, realize that I don't have enough shipping tape, run to Walgreens and spend $10.99 on two rolls and a dispenser. It's okay, I'll use it on all of my future etsy sales. I just need to grab some packing paper from downstairs - after all, we have a custom picture framing business. It is when I take my first step into the basement that I realize that I am surrounded by boxes - not just any boxes, mind you, but the sort and size that one would need to ship a framed item. Really? I had the boxes here the whole time? The older I get, the more I realize that I'm going to end up in a special "home" one day.

I am ready to print out another label - this time from UPS. I'm a little nervous as I begin, but I can't chicken out now. I know I can do this. I enter the measurements of the box, enter the weight and wait for the total to appear.....$14.25. Halleluiah! I print, apply and drive. Taking the package in, I'm still a bit gun-shy. I give the package to the guy, and stand there. "Can I help you with anything else?" he asks.

That's it? I'm done? Everything's okay?

I email the purchaser of my first Etsy sale to let her know that the item has been shipped. She emails me back saying that it is also her first Etsy purchase. How sweet that we are going through this together.

Estimated cost of shipping: $10.00
First Box: $16.50
First Label from USPS: $19.50
Second Box from storage/moving company: $5.00
Packing Tape: $10.99
Refund from USPS label: minus $19.50
UPS shipping label: $14.25

So my total shipping cost was about $45. That's exactly what the Inspiration Board Cost and I lost money on my first Etsy sale......however, I have come away with at LEAST $45 worth of learning.
From now on, I'll list the boards at a shipping cost of $15.00. I'll use boxes that I already have. I have plenty of packing tape.

I'm sure John can't wait for my 2nd Etsy sale.

Diane

My Shipping Experience - Part 1

2010-05-05T06:14:00.004-05:00

No, I wasn't out cruising the seas......I was simply trying to ship my first Etsy Sale so that I could begin to earn a good reputation as an Etsy Shop owner.

Maybe you all know about shipping and don't need to read this post;

I'm always thinking that people who have items for sale on auction sites are trying to make a little extra money on the shipping part of their listings, so I want to be fair and not have the shipping amount scare people away from purchasing item, so I have already declared a $10 shipping charge on my Inspiration Boards over at MyAuntDotty.etsy.com. The item I want to ship is about 30" x 24" x 1.5". I arrived at this $10 by looking up on the Post Office site what some of my options were. I was instructed to use a formula to arrive at a shipping cost - measure length and girth and weight and date of birth, multiply by 2 and add 14.5, click my heels together 3 times and repeat "There's no place like home." That would give me the amount of shipping. So I did all that and came up with the idea that I thought $10 would be a fair shipping cost, so that's what I listed.

Once the item sold, I needed to get it out right away, so as to build my reputation as a good seller on etsy. I needed a box....oh darn, I have to go out and buy a box. I thought that the UPS store would be a logical place to by a box that would fit the Inspiration Board. After giving general dimensions to the clerk, he came up with a double walled box that would fit said item. (I knew that in the future I was going to order boxes to have on hand at home from Uline, but the timing was important on this particular shipping - good reputation and all. I said I'd take the box. He rung it up for me and it came to $16.50. ???? What???? That's already $6.50 over my listed shipping cost. Okay, it's just this one time. I'll eat the cost in order to build my good reputation. I still have profited from this sale on Etsy.

I take the box home, pack it with the Inspiration Board, add a nice little gift - I heard that you're supposed to do that on Etsy - and join the 21st century and decide I'm going to print out my own label from my own computer. I go to USPS.com to get my label. Again I use the formula and the least amount I can get away with paying is $19.50. ??? What? I thought it could go Media Mail, blah, blah, blah. Okay, I'll eat this because I want that good reputation. At this point I'm still breaking even on my sale. It's worth it for a good reputation. I'll just have to list a higher shipping cost on further Etsy listings. ( I love to learn as I go)

The package is all ready to go, label printed and applied. I take it to the Post Office on my lunch hour and am "pat-myself-on-the-back" surprised that there is no line. I take my package up to the clerk. I explain that this is my first Etsy sale, and I was wondering if she could check to make sure that I measured correctly and applied the correct postage......She measures the length and the girth and weight and date of birth, multiplies by 2, and adds 14.5, clicks her heels together 3 times, saying, "There's no place like home." and announces that it is going to cost me $68.20 to ship this box. ??? What??? I take back my box and figure I'll just buy a plane ticket to Houston and deliver the box myself for that kind of money.

Needless to say, my dream of being a successful etsy seller is slowly turning into a nightmare. I simply cannot charge $68.20 shipping on an item that costs only $45. A very nice lady in line - by now there's a line at the post office witnessing my humiliation - tells me that I should try UPS. I explain to her that it's my first Etsy sale and how I need to build a good Etsy reputation and that I appreciate her suggestion. I head over to UPS.

Tune in later for part 2. I'd better wake the kids up for school.

Diane

My First Etsy Sale

2010-05-03T13:34:00.002-05:00

Hello all. Today is a great day. When I checked my email this morning, I had a notice that said that someone sent money into my PayPal account. It took only a second to realize that I MADE MY FIRST ETSY SALE. And, it's not by anyone I know in real life!

It makes me just want to list more and more stuff. I guess I need to make a widget (yes, Johnny and Gracey, and honey, I know what a widget is) linking my etsy shop to my blog. It may take me a couple of days to figure out how to do it, but don't despair, the widget will be there.

Diane

May Day

2010-05-01T08:23:00.002-05:00

If any of my siblings are reading this post, I would please like you to let me know if I am making it up or it is a true memory....

Did we or did we not, on May 1 each year, scour our neighbors' yards for flowers to pick and give mom? I seem to remember that we were supposed to give flowers to mom on May Day and then dance around the may pole. I recall some of the neighbors getting upset that we were picking their flowers.

And remember that great big May Pole we had in our back yard, all decorated beautifully? And remember how each May 1st we'd all wake up early and put on our church clothes, grab a ribbon and dance around it? (Okay, I don't remember that either, but there is such a fine line between crazy and pretend crazy that I was just curious to see if you all truly thought I was losing my mind.)

Happy May Day. Go dance around a pole today or pick your neighbors' flowers.

D

Just some photos

2010-04-30T06:23:00.003-05:00

I'd love to share this story

2010-04-29T20:22:00.003-05:00

I'd love to share with you why I ate Chipotle for dinner tonight, but that would be breaking the marital rule of not sharing everything with everybody. Suffice it to say that John did not have Chipotle for dinner.

Age Spots and Stuff

2010-04-28T06:25:00.001-05:00

I want to introduce you to Aunt Rosalie....no she's not related to Aunt Dotty. Aunt Rosalie, from what I remember because I was young when I knew her was fun. She had a home on a hill. This home contained my favorite room of all time in all of my life. It was a little room surrounded by windows that overlooked her gorgeous back yard, full of different layers of the most beautiful flowers you have ever seen. This little room had a day bed and was warm. I think there was a sewing machine in it, if I remember correctly, although I could be making that part up. I think heaven is going to be exactly like Aunt Rosalie's little room.

Aunt Rosalie had wonderful brown spots all over her hands and arms. I loved her as much as a young child can love someone she doesn't know very well - after all, she was a grown-up.

I think this is why the growing number of large age spots on my hands and arms cause me delight instead of angst. Thank you, Aunt Rosalie.

Diane
Oh, a photo for your eyes: This is not Aunt Rosalie's house. It's my back yard, but I wanted to share with you what I see each morning as I blog.

We Learn As We Go

2010-04-26T06:33:00.002-05:00

I admit disappointment. I had prepared myself for all kinds of outcomes from the show at Regina, but in reality, when the rubber met the road (not sure where THAT expression came from), I came home disappointed.

When my children are disappointed in something what do I tell them? I say, "Oh, honey, I know things aren't what you expected, but let's see what we can learn. We learn not to expect so much." No, I never tell them this, because I believe that you need to dream big. I say, "Oh, honey, it wasn't your fault, you just can't help some things." No, I never tell them this, because I believe that you need to always be flexible and prepared to change your course of action if the need arises. You need to be able to make lemonade out of lemons. I say, "Oh, honey, maybe (fill in blank)isn't your thing. Let's search out some other hobbies." No, I never say that, because how the heck are you supposed to get any better at anything if you don't practice. You need to take a look at the situation, figure it out, learn from it and jump back on the horse, making the necessary changes.

Okay, I feel better now. Thanks for this pep talk. I should talk to myself more often. Here are some of the pics I took yesterday. As painful a reminder as they are, they can help me for next time.

Oh, and one more thing....last night at dinner, I accidentally put blue cheese dressing on my mashed potatoes instead of my salad. I looked at John and asked him, "Do you ever REALLY worry that I'm losing my mind?" He assured me that, "no, he doesn't REALLY worry."

Regina Show Tomorrow

2010-04-24T10:13:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is the day of the Regina High School Dramatic Dining event. It's where I am going to try and sell some of my wares. Although I'm a little nervous because I am unsure of what to expect at this particular event, I'm excited about seeing what, if anything, sells so as to learn what I'm doing that is working and what I'm doing that isn't working.

I just know that you are all anxious to see how I make out, so I'll keep you posted. Today I'm just finishing up inventory and coming up with creative ways to display all I have. I'll take lots of pics.

Wish me luck.

Diane

A Day Off

2010-04-23T05:49:00.002-05:00

Have you ever been a "stay at home mom?"
Have you ever been a "stay at home mom who longs for the day that you can go back to work?"
Have you ever been a "stay at home mom who longs for the day that you can go back to work and then that day comes and you go back to work?"
Have you ever been a "stay at home mom who longs for the day that you can go back to work and then that day comes and you go back to work and then you just want a day off to stay at home?"

Yeah, that's what I did yesterday. It was GLORIOUS! I took the kids to school and went back home. It was so WEIRD! It was quiet and serene. I could hear the birds singing. I began to craft and I crafted all day with a quick trip to Michael's for some supplies. I even took a trip to my friend Jane's house, just like in the old days of our group "crafty ladies", to pick up some tags she made for me for the craft sale this weekend. I put on an audio book, and listened to a murder mystery as I crafted. It was such a productive day.

I swear my mind is wondering what it would be like to do this every day. Of course, now we aren't in any position to afford for me to do that, but a girl can dream.

Diane

Summer jobs for the kids

2010-04-21T05:56:00.002-05:00

So, I'm thinkin'...."maybe my kids should all get jobs this summer." They could raise their own money to go to the movies, walk to Walgreens, go to Borders, all sorts of opportunities would be open to them once they had their own money. The problem is not so much giving one of them money to go to the movies....it's that once you give one money to go to the movies, you feel obliged to give all the other ones the same amount of money and then next thing you know, you're broke. It's just easier to give none of them money....OR have them get their own jobs.

So, I'm thinkin'....."what sort of jobs could my kids get? After all, they are 15, 12 and 11." Yeah, yeah, there's always the good ole "Lemonade Stand" and babysitting, or the "one cent per dandelion game." They could all work, but none of them are perfect. And then I went to the zoo and saw this:

So, I'm thinkin'...."I'm gonna take my kids to the zoo with their viola, cello and ukelele, sit them on a bench with their cases open, have them pluck a few strings and just see what happens." Huh? Great idea? Maybe I'll even make up a sign that says..."Please help us continue our lessons." Oh my gosh! It's brilliant.

Maybe they'll even be able to give ME money for the movies.

Weekend with Mom

2010-04-19T06:22:00.003-05:00

What a perfect visit. Not too long, not too short...just perfect. Mom arrived on Friday night. She left on Sunday afternoon. We spent all day Saturday at the zoo, visiting with the animals and with each other. The kids had fun with her, she had fun with the kids. John hasn't seen her in a long time and they were able to have a nice visit.

Visit - spending time catching up with someone you haven't spent time with in a while. When someone visits you, you share your life with them. When you visit someone, you allow them to share their life with you. What a blessing to be able to share this life of mine with my mom this weekend.

Diane

Mom's Here

2010-04-17T08:18:00.002-05:00

I want to share this quickly with you because it's just funny. My mom is visiting from TN. She lives there, with my sister and her family. She's only here for a few days and hasn't been here in a long time.

This morning, I woke up, did my Bible Study and fell back to sleep on the sofa downstairs. The phone began to ring and ring and ring. Surely it would go to the machine or the person on the other end would realize that no one was going to answer it. Finally, after about 100 rings, it stopped. I closed my eyes again and my cell phone started ringing and ringing and ringing. Same thing....I figured it would go to voice mail. Wrong! The house phone started ringing again. "Oh no," I thought, "It must be an emergency or maybe it's Marsha and she has scheduled a showing. I jumped up to answer the phone and, of course, couldn't find it. I followed the sound until I located a phone in my craft studio. I squinted to see who was calling (this because I can no longer see anything up close without my reader glasses, but of course, when I jumped up to answer the phone, they were not on my head - I was asleep after all when the phone started ringing). I was able to vaguely make out the name of my sister in TN. So I answered.

We laughed as she apologized for calling so early, but her son needed to talk to Mom to see if she knew where his baseball jersey was. We laughed as my sister acknowledged that "Mom couldn't even go to another sibling's house for a quiet visit without my sister stalking her."

Ahhhh, I just love my family!

Diane

2010-04-14T21:03:00.002-05:00

There are some trends that are just perfect for certain people. These glasses were the 3D glasses from Avatar with the lenses popped out. I've seen this look on more than one kid and after the initial resemblance to the "big nose glasses," they start to look kind of cool. All of my children wear this look well, but I only had the photo of Mickey. Maybe I'll attempt this look one day - just to see if I can pull it off in public. The thing with this look is that you have to have the "attitude" to go with it....that "I have all sorts of confidence in who I am and I don't really care how you judge me" attitude. Thanks to Gracey for introducing this attitude to our family.

Diane

Don't be alarmed

2010-04-13T22:12:00.004-05:00

I am taking an online "Bling Out Your Blog" class by Wilna and Kayla over at Little Light Studio and so don't be alarmed if my blog changes its appearance from day to day. I want to find the perfect fit for me.

I think I'm ready to list my first item in my etsy shop, which is www.MyAuntDotty.etsy.com. I'm going to post it here first to see if the photography of it is acceptable to post in my shop, so give me some feedback. The listing will describe the item along the lines of:

Inspiration Board - a unique display piece for all of your memorabilia. We all need an inspiration place - a place to display those things that inspire us throughout the day. Often a leaf, or a certain piece of fabric, or a simple word is all it takes for me to grow in a given day. Other times black and white photos of those I love or ticket stubs from the show I saw last week with hubby inspire me and make me smile. How simple it is to tack any of these items to this gorgeous board. This Inspiration Board, adorned with birds and music is backed with 1/4" cork board and is sturdy enough to continuously change out whatever inspires you on any given day.

This Inspiration Board measures 33" x 25".
Price: $45
Shipping: I'll need to check on this before I list it for real.

Okay...what do you think? Price-wise too high? too low? Is there enough information? Are there enough pictures? Is the photo quality pleasant to look at? How else would you like to see item displayed?

I'm seriously not going to do this kind of questioning each and every time I list something, but I haven't listed anything for sale before and I want to just make sure that I'm not skipping anything really important.

House is on the Market Again

2010-04-12T05:48:00.002-05:00

Here is how I feel about the whole "House-on-the-market" thing. Blah and yuck. The house would sell tomorrow (or even today) if we had it for sale for like $500,000. I asked the question to the Realtor, "Could you sell the house tomorrow for $600,000? Her answer, "Yes, absolutely." "Could you sell the house tomorrow for $700,000?" "Yup." "Could you sell it for $800,000 tomorrow?" "Yes, I could," she said with very slight hesitation. "What about 9?" Here was the magic number that she couldn't say "yes" to selling in one day. So here is where, if we want to sell is what we will probably sell for; however, having said that, by selling it at between $900,000 and 1 million, we will be giving the house away.

So, the question I have to ask myself is this, "Am I willing to work my butt off to keep the house clean and in good showing order if, we - as a family (and I'm talking of John here, but trying not to make him the bad guy and make it sound like our decisions are mutually agreed upon, which they are, but sometimes one side is pushing harder for one thing and the other side is pushing harder for another thing) - list the house at too high of a price, which, in my opinion, is not going to get us many showings anyhow?"

My answer to myself is....I'm not going to clean my craft studio. There, now you have it.

D.

Gracey's First Driving Behind the Wheel with Instructor

2010-04-10T20:42:00.002-05:00

I seriously was in a dilemma, today. Gracey was freaking out about having to actually drive in the car today with her instructor. I don't think I've ever seen her this worried about something before - well one other time, but we won't talk about that. So much so that I considered canceling the driving until she was more ready. The thing is, I don't think she could be more ready. She drives fine - she is just nervous that the instructor will yell at her.

Of course the instructor didn't yell at her, but he DID have a pretty thick accent and when she heard him say, "Alright, alright", she thought that he was telling her that she was doing a fine job, when in fact he was telling her to "Turn right. Turn right." He only had to press the brake on his side of the car once.

She survived, but I thought after this, she'd see that it wasn't so scary after all, but I think she's even more scared than before. I guess that'll be another year in therapy.

Diane

The Glee Premier

2010-04-08T22:02:00.004-05:00

We were full of anticipation at seeing some of our favorite Glee stars tonight. They had been on all the Chicago TV stations, and tonight was the night that the special premiere was being shown. It took place at a movie theater in Naperville, IL and we drove about 1 hour to get there. Everyone had their autograph books ready.

We arrived about 2 hours early - we weren't sure what traffic was going to be like, so we left a bit early. Once we figured out where the theater was, we decided to go to Portillos to eat....well, Gracey wanted Taco Bell and Mickey and Katie Rose wanted Boston Market, but I really wanted Portillos and since I was driving......well....you know how it goes.

When we finished eating we went back to the theater. A line was forming and we weren't the first ones, but we weren't the last either. This theater is the type where you go and they serve you food and drinks. We selected a place pretty close to the front (so we could see the stars real good and stuff). It was about 1/2 an hour until the show, and the hosts were inviting people up to do Karaoke.....well, I LOVE Karaoke. Gracey and Katie Rose were mortified at the thought and kept saying very seriously, "Mom, no. Mom, really, no. Mom, don't do it, seriously."

Mickey is all like, "Mom, I dare you."

I've lived long enough to know that you only live once and so what the heck. I wanted to win a hat.

I went up to the stage and Mickey joined me. We had to wait for a couple of other groups to go before us, but when it was our turn, we rocked the house. Katie Rose had decided to join us and she and Mickey danced to my "I Feel the Earth Move". When it was all over, the crowd went wild. It was so dang fun!!! Once all of the acts were finished, we were all called back onstage for the audience to vote for the winner of the hats and CD's. Needless to say we were the champions and went home with 3 hats and 3 CDs (well, two hats because there was a little kid who really wanted a hat and so I gave him mine, seeing as we were taking home two other ones).

The show started and it was an awesome episode. The show was over and we all sort of just waited for awhile, waiting for the stars.......which never came. LOL We DID get a free poster, though. :)

Here are the photos:

Strange Phenomenon

2010-04-07T21:33:00.004-05:00

It has been well over a year and a half since I've had a cigarette. I quit for the last time in Oct. 2008. A strange thing is happening this week, though. I've been craving a cigarette really badly for the last few days. There could be a few reasons....1)The weather is so nice that it reminds me of just hanging out on the front porch smoking and knitting.....2)John gave up cigars for Lent and once Easter hit, the aroma of tobacco is yummy....3)Working on inventory for MyAuntDotty is causing me to live my creative side and I used to always smoke when I was being creative - it helped me to process ideas.

Whatever the reason, my mind is telling me that just one isn't going to do any harm, but you and I know better.

I thank my really good friend, Pam, for not giving in to my request for one the other night out on her patio. If she would have done as I asked and brought out a pack of cigarettes, I know that I would have had one. I know it with all my heart.

Perhaps a few prayers for strength until this weird spring craving is gone again and I can enjoy these glorious days of spring just that much more.

Here is a spring picture for you. I posted one a while ago, but neglected to give the illustrator credit. Her name is Joan Augland Walsh? Geez! Why can't I remember? Kelley knows. Joan Walsh Augland? Agland? Angland? Well, here is the picture anyhow.

It's Angland - thanks, Kelley

I'm Getting Panicky and this is Dumb.

2010-04-05T21:32:00.002-05:00

This is so embarrassing that I should probably not even share it, but I'm starting to panic a little. I just know that there are others like me out there, so I'll just share and hope for the best.

It is about 9:30pm my time on Monday April 5th. I'm panicking because I'm in bed and my first official Spring Break day is over and it's all going so fast! Sure, I slept in, shared coffee on the front porch with my husband, went to Evanston, had lunch with my boy before he went back to SLU, even took a nap. It was a good day....so why do I feel like I'm missing something important?

I DID go into work today to work with the CCD 2nd graders on their communion songs. Maybe it was being back in the school building that made me freak out a little. My school nurse friend, Mary, was there as well. She was teaching an inclusion class to CCD 5th graders. Maybe being in the building and seeing a co-worker caused me to freak out a little.

Let's just assume - worst case scenario - that I don't get as much done over break as I'd like to, or that I waste the whole week just relaxing and resting or that I work the whole week and wonder what happened to my break.....the worst thing that could happen is that we go back to school for another 2 months at the very most and then we're on summer vacation.

Okay, when I put it that way, I don't freak out so much. Thanks for being there for me. :)

Diane

Some Easter Family Time

2010-04-04T21:10:00.002-05:00

What a great, awesome, and glorious day! Sometimes family time such as we had today just can't be planned. Everything worked together today, from moods to weather, to make this Easter one of the most memerable ever.

D.

Friday Finds

2010-04-02T21:54:00.004-05:00

Look what I found. How funny are these? Unfortunately they are sold out, but wouldn't it be fun to have these hanging from my rear view mirror?

http://www.etsy.com/shop/StichesInTime

Anticipation Satisfied

2010-04-02T16:58:00.003-05:00

So I wait and I wait....I wait from October through June sometimes. And although I know that my waiting is not completely done, I rejoice in this GORGEOUS, glorious, warm day.

I was out earlier this morning and while I initially thought that all was silent, I came to know that the morning was alive with sound - the sound of birds of all sorts, loud ones, little ones, red ones, black ones. The more I listened, the louder they got.

Why oh why does anyone ever move away from this experience into coldness? I guess that is what Lent is all about. Blessed Good Friday.

Diane

The Easter Bunny isn't Real??????

2010-03-31T21:03:00.003-05:00

Wow! I totally blew it. I thought that when my 11 year old son asked for the Easter Bunny's phone number so that he could ask for a Game Stop gift card for Easter, he was really asking for confirmation that the Easter Bunny was made up. How did I connect THOSE dots, you might ask. Really, it's simple....but it's sort of a long tangled web. Let's see if I can condense it and fill in with pictures.

Background:
I've always hated the fact that my children don't know that Santa and the Easter bunny weren't real? I mean, how long can this lying go on without them losing all trust in you when they DO finally find out.

Step 1: (aka Mistake 1)
Earlier today, I ordered some preview Glee movie tickets for a showing in Chicago as a special thing for the kids and I to do on Easter Break next week. I am not so great at keeping some secrets, so I thought it would be fun to let them in on the surprise. Once I told them they were super excited. It wasn't until I was at my desk at work, talking with Mary about Easter baskets and stuff that I realized I should have kept these tickets as a surprise for their baskets.

Step 2:
I figured I could still justify the cost of the tickets by just putting them in the EAster baskets anyhow, seeing as the 3 older kids KNOW about the Easter Bunny....Mickey is the only one still believing at this point. That's when Mickey asked his question about the Easter Bunny's phone number and the Game Stop Card. I jokingly said that I think the EAster Bunny was bringing them Glee movie tickets. Mickey stepped up to remind me that I told them this morning that I got the tickets, so why would the EAster bunny bring them. I answered that I would give them to the EAster bunny to put in their baskets.

Step 3: (Up to this point, I still could have been okay because I CAN be clever that way, but no.....I had to continue on the path of truth)
From across the room, I asked Mickey (sort of quietly, so if he didn't quite hear me, I could change my mine), "You know that wrestling is fake, right?" He heard me, so on I went.... "You know how I told you that the wrestlers are fake fighting?" It only took a moment for him to make the connection.
"Are you saying that the EAster bunny is fake?" I just looked at him with eyes that said it all, with as much sympathy as I could convey to someone who was looking for confirmation.

Steps 4 through 10
Wailing throughout the house.
A hand holding walk around the block with more wailing.
The can't-catch-my-breath-from-crying questions...."What about leprechans?"
I shook my head.
"What about the tooth fairy?"
More head shaking.
"Cupid?" (Where the heck did THAT one come from?)
"What about Santa Claus?"
Oh geez, the neighbors are going to think that I'm stranger danger trying to steal this kid if I tell him the truth.....but I had already come this far....there was no turning back. I went all the way and shook my head no. I babbled on for the rest of our walk about symbolism and the "spirit" of Christmas and what EAster was really about and more babbling about how long his siblings knew and when each one found out. He didn't hear a thing I said. His heart was broken. He felt sad. He felt embarrassed that he could believe in a great big human sized bunny. He said his friends had tried to tell him that Santa wasn't real, but he told them that he believed.

Step gagillion:
I think he cried for about a half hour and there was only one thing left to do......"Who wants to go out for ice cream?"

Walking out of the door of Dairy Queen, 3 young guys about Mickey's age greeted him with, "Hey, it's Mickey Dolan!" They were guys who had played on the same football team as Mickey from another school. Mickey felt all proud and popular and grown-up and sad and mixed up all at once. We started to drive back home and this is what Mickey said, "Hey Mom. Do you think the Easter Bunny is going to get me a gift card to Game Stop in my basket this year? Wink. Wink." What a great kid!He's on the mend, but still, I feel horrible and I know that this will probably put him in therapy, so it will help me greatly if some of you could share your "how I found out" stories with me.

Being Gracey's Friend

2010-03-30T06:23:00.003-05:00

I've avoided "friending" anyone under 18 on facebook. Most of the people I know that are under 18 are from St. Norbert and it was important to keep work and regular life separate. Having said that, with the advent of my new indie biz, I may have products that appeal to that age group and have decided to go ahead and friend those under 18 who have asked to friend me.

I decided to start with my daughter, Grace. I learned that when I sent her a friend request, she sort of freaked out a little - didn't really want to be my friend, but didn't want to hurt my feelings either. She took her concern to John. He, parentally, told her to just sit down with me and talk things out. I would understand.

I'm not sure if what happened next was John's idea or hers, but she came up with a plan to write a contract - one that outlined the "rules" of my being her friend. Below you will find the fruit of her effort. I can't tell you how much this makes me smile.

I think I"ll sign it.

Coming Down from the Mountain to Work

2010-03-29T06:20:00.004-05:00

This photo was taken by my niece, Ellie Dolan and is one of my favs.
I talked to my boy last night on the phone.
He was just home from retreat. Up.
He struggled with housing. Down.
He is coming home on Wednesday. Up.

Today begins the first day of the last week of school before our Easter Break. With break comes time.....time to perfect Dotty. I think she's going to get a puppy. I'm not sure which kind, but she's open to suggestions. Not too small, but not too big. Happy face, no boogers in eyes. Approachable and unique. Makes Dotty look independent and self-assured when taking it for walk.

I'm going to browse puppy images and see what I come up with. I know the perfect pup is out there for Dotty.

Diane

(Just so we are all on the same page.....Dotty's not real, she's my imaginary life on which my new and upcoming biz is based on - I don't want my kids to get all excited that we're getting a dog in real life or anything.) I felt I had to say that because I think my readership is so huge that someone will ask my kids, "Hey, I hear you're getting a puppy."